Haunted
by VoicesOffCamera
Summary: The three Curtis brothers have just been through a horrible tragedy: both of their parents were instantly killed in a terrible car accident. Now Darry must step up in order to keep what is left of his family together. The weight of the world is on his shoulders. But what can he do when Ponyboy starts having terrifying nightmares that he can't even remember?
1. After the Burial

**Author's Note: This is my first fan fiction that I've posted on here, I hope you guys like it! Please review! The more reviews I get the more motivated I will be to post more chapters. **

**I do not own the Outsiders. **

_Chapter One: After the Burial_

The house was quiet as Ponyboy, Sodapop and Darry returned after their parents' funeral. The rest of the Greasers had been there to support them, but now they left what was left of the family to their own private grieving.

Sodapop fell onto the couch, his eyes bloodshot and empty looking and his face was pale. Ponyboy just stood in the middle of the living room staring, as if not sure what he should do now. Darry looked from one to the other. Sodapop was sixteen years old. Ponyboy was only thirteen. And now all of a sudden, at nineteen years old, Darry was responsible for both of them. He had to step up and take the place of both their mother and their father. They had always been a very close family, and Darry had always done everything he could for his bothers… but now he was all they had.

"You guys hungry?" Darry finally asked lamely. He felt like he just had to do something. Soda shook his head silently and Pony made no indication that he had heard him at all. Darry sighed. "Come here," he put his arm around Ponyboy and led him to the couch where Soda was sitting. Ponyboy sat down next to Soda and Darry crouched in front of the two of them, placing a hand on each of their knees. "It's going to be okay. We're going to get through this together. Things will be… different. But we are going to be okay. I promise."

Silent tears were falling down Ponyboy's face and Soda leaned over and put his arm around him and pulled him close, though Darry could tell Soda was barely holding it together himself. He would have to be strong for both of them.

Darry finally coaxed both his brothers to pick at some dinner and he felt a little better. Ponyboy went to bed early and Darry fell on the couch beside Sodapop.

"I'm going to look into getting a second job," Darry said, glancing at Soda. "It's going to be tight with all the bills."

"We've got my paycheck from the gas station too," Soda said quietly. He had recently gotten a part time job after school at a nearby DX station with his best friend Steve Randal. "That'll help a little."

Darry nodded. "Yeah," he said. "I'd like to keep Ponyboy from feeling like he should get a job too though. I'd rather he just focus on his schoolwork."

"Maybe I'll drop out," Soda said suddenly and Darry looked at him in surprise.

"You're not dropping out of school, Soda," he said firmly. "You can keep working part time, pick up some extra shifts on the weekends, I'll get a second job, and we'll make ends meet."

Soda shook his head. "It's still going to be tight," he said.

Darry sighed. "Look, I haven't even taken a good look at the bills yet," he said tiredly. "Let's just see how things go for a while. Let's not get ahead of ourselves."

"Okay," Soda said, not convinced. They were quiet for a while.

"How are you holding up?" Darry finally asked.

Sodapop shrugged. "It's just… unreal," he said quietly. His voice had the smallest tremor in it and is eyes glazed with unshed tears.

"I know," Darry said. He felt so useless. How could he help his brothers deal with this unimaginable pain? How were any of them supposed to deal with losing both their parents so suddenly?

"What about you?" Soda asked.

"What do you mean?"Darry said, not comprehending.

"How are you holding up?" Soda asked.

"As well as can be expected," he said quietly.

"What about… what about college, Darry?" Sodapop said slowly.

"You mean me going to college?" Darry asked and Soda nodded. Darry sighed. "Well that's out of the question now, isn't it. I've got to support you and Ponyboy. I'm not going to just leave you two to get thrown in some boys home." He paused. "Maybe in a few years, after you and Ponyboy graduate, I'll be able to apply for college. But for now… I'm going to keep this family together."

"Thank you, Darry," Soda said and Darry was surprised. Did Sodapop really think that he'd leave the two of them?

"The lawyer said that since I'm only nineteen we will have to have people from the state checking in on us regularly," Darry said. "They want to make sure that I am a fit guardian for you two."

"You will be," Soda said firmly. "I know you will be. Like you said… we're going to get through this together."

Darry gave a small smile, though he wasn't so sure he believed it. Soda finally let out a big yawn.

"Have you been getting much sleep?" he asked and Sodapop shook his head. "Me either." He stretched and then stood up. "Come on, let's get to bed. We've got a lot to do tomorrow."

"Yeah," Sodapop agreed as he got to his feet.

They both shuffled down the hall and into their respective bedrooms. Darry glanced at the closed door that concealed their parents' bedroom and felt a twinge in the pit of his stomach. He wondered vaguely if that door would ever be opened again.

In his own room Darry collapsed onto his bed, utterly exhausted. It took him a few minutes to convince himself that he couldn't sleep in the suit that he wore to their parents' funeral. He dragged himself back up and changed into a pair of sweatpants before crawling back into bed, feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders. After tossing and turning for what seemed like hours Darry finally fell into a restless sleep.

Hours later Darry was woken up with a start by a loud noise. A loud screaming was coming from across the hall. His insides turned to ice as he leapt from his bed and tore across the hall, convinced that someone had broken into their house and was attacking Ponyboy. He had fully expected to see a scene of blood and violence as he threw open Ponyboy's bedroom door and flipped on the light, only to find Ponyboy sitting bolt upright in his bed, panting and sweating, but apparently unharmed.

"Ponyboy, what is it?" Darry asked with a hint of panic in his voice, rushing to his bedside. But Ponyboy just shook his head wordlessly and pulled his knees to his chest as he began to tremble.

"Ponyboy?" Darry turned to see Sodapop hurrying into the room looking wide awake and pale. "What happened?"

But Ponyboy still didn't answer. Sodapop moved closer and send a questioning look at Darry, but Darry just shrugged helplessly. Sodapop climbed onto the bed next to Ponyboy and put his arms around him as Pony began to cry, holding him into his chest.

"Sh," Sodapop hushed, rocking Ponyboy a little as sobs wracked through his chest. "Sh, it's okay. You're okay Ponyboy."

Darry sat on the edge of the bed, a little jealous of Soda's ability to know how to comfort Ponyboy. He would have almost rather there had been an intruder in the house. At least he would know how to handle that. Finally after much comforting from both of them, Ponyboy seemed to be calming down.

"What happened, Ponyboy?" Darry finally asked quietly, leaning in and stroking his little brother's hair. "Did you have a nightmare?"

Ponyboy nodded.

"What was it about," Sodapop asked, shifting to sit more near the edge of the bed and rubbing Pony's back with one hand.

"I…I… I can't remember," Ponyboy stuttered. "I just remember waking up and feeling… feeling terrified." He shivered.

"You were screaming in your sleep," Darry said.

Ponyboy looked at him with big eyes. "I was?"

"Yeah, you were screaming bloody murder," Darry said, trying to laugh lightly to lighten the mood but his face still looking serious. "I thought someone had stabbed you the way you were going on."

"I… don't remember that…" Ponyboy said vaguely.

"You okay now, kid?" Darry asked.

Ponyboy nodded, though not very convincingly. He still looked terribly shook up. Darry looked at Sodapop, unsure of what to do. This was way out of his comfort zone.

"You want me to stay here with you, Pony?" Sodapop asked.

Ponyboy looked at him and thought for a minute. Then he gave a small nod, looking a little embarrassed.

"Scoot over," Soda said immediately.

Darry sighed with relief, glad that Sodapop had been able to come up with a solution. He stood up as Ponyboy made room for Sodapop and lay back down. Soda stretched out next to him and threw his arm over him protectively. As Darry walked from the room he could hear Soda talking to Ponyboy in a low, comforting voice. He flipped the light back off and shut the door behind him.

Back in his own room Darry sat on the edge of his bed and rested his forehead on his hands, feeling sick and overwhelmed. Only a few hours after they had buried their parents and Darry had already run into a problem that he didn't know how to deal with. How could he protect Ponyboy from something in his own head? He could only hope that Ponyboy wouldn't continue to have nightmares like that. Perhaps it was just the stress of the events over the past week finally catching up with him. He was glad that Sodapop could pick up where he was lacking. Perhaps with all three of them working together this really would all work out.


	2. As Long As We Stay Together

**Author's Note: Thank you to my two reviewers! Please review and let me know what you think, even if you don't like it (though if you don't like it, constructive criticism is appreciated) and if you'd like me to continue. **

**I do not own the Outsiders**

_Chapter Two: As Long As We Stay Together_

The morning came all too quickly. Darry felt heavy, but knew he couldn't just lay in bed all day feeling sorry for himself. He had responsibilities now and he couldn't put them off. With a groan he pushed himself out of bed and made his way into the kitchen to start on breakfast.

"'Morning," Sodapop murmured, shuffling into the kitchen a few minutes later.

Darry glanced over from where he was making eggs on the stove. There were bags under Sodapop's eyes and he looked worn. "Yes, it is morning," Darry confirmed lightly. Sodapop walked over to the icebox and began digging around. He came up with half a chocolate cake. "Really? Chocolate cake for breakfast?" Darry asked dubiously.

"I'll eat the eggs too," Sodapop said as he hopped up on to the counter and began picking at the cake with his fingers.

Darry just rolled his eyes, but seeing as how none of them had had much of an appetite all week, he really couldn't complain that Soda had decided on his own to eat. "How was the rest of the night?" he asked, going back to the eggs.

Sodapop shrugged a shoulder. "He was still trembling when I fell asleep again," he said. "But he was fast asleep when I got up just now. I suppose that's a good sign."

"He's a little old to be having nightmares like that, isn't he?" Darry said carefully as he divided the eggs onto three plates.

"Who knows," Sodapop sighed. "He has been under a lot of stress in the past week. We all have…" His voice trailed off and for a moment his eyes looked lost in thought. A moment later he snapped back to reality, focusing back in on Darry. "He's a lot more sensitive than us. It's going to take him longer to get over this."

Darry nodded. That made sense. He was the baby of the family after all, even if he was thirteen years old. He placed a plate of eggs beside Soda on the counter and then went back to the ice box to look for some bacon. He was starting to get his appetite back too. As he closed the door he jumped a little as he glimpsed someone standing in the doorway to the kitchen. Neither brother had heard Ponyboy get up.

"Hey Ponyboy," Darry said. "How did you sleep?"

"Better," Ponyboy said quietly. "I'm sorry I scared you last night."

"It's okay," Darry said, setting a plate of scrambled eggs on the table. "I made eggs if you're hungry. I'm going to make some bacon too."

Ponyboy sat down in the chair in front of the plate of eggs Darry had just set down and rested his head on one hand. He picked up his fork with his other hand and pushed the eggs around on his plate without much interest.

"There's also chocolate cake," Soda said, hopping down off the counter and putting the cake on the table between them. Ponyboy gave a weak smile and turned toward the cake instead, digging in with his fork. Soda sat down next to him and continued picking at it with his fingers. Then he seemed to remember the eggs and reached back and pulled his plate off the counter, leaning on two legs of the chair as he did so, before plopping back down.

Darry shook his head slightly as he watched them. _Mom would have a fit_, he thought to himself. But he wasn't about to say anything. This was the lightest the mood had been all week and he didn't want to ruin it just yet.

"Ya'll want something to drink?" Darry asked as he let the bacon fry in the egg pan.

"Do we have any chocolate milk?" Ponyboy asked.

Darry consulted the ice box. "Sure do, kid," he said, pulling out a carton. He shook it and felt how light it was. "Going to have to get some more soon," he muttered more to himself.

"I'll get it," Sodapop said, standing up and taking the light carton. "You finish the bacon."

Sodapop poured two glasses of milk, pretty much finishing up the carton. He set one in front of Ponyboy and kept one for himself as he took his seat again. Darry finished cooking the bacon and dumped it on a plate and set it in the middle of the table. He sat down in a chair on the other side of Ponyboy and started in on his semi-warm eggs.

The three ate in silence for a while, Ponyboy and Sodapop mostly eating the chocolate cake and bacon. Darry didn't know how they could eat such an odd combination for breakfast, but he was just happy they were eating at all.

"We should probably have a little family meeting," Darry said after taking a swig of his black coffee. "Things are going to change around here." Soda nodded vaguely and Ponyboy stared down into his lap. Darry was all business at this point. "There will be people from the state coming to check up on us. I can only be legal guardian for both of you as long as they keep approving us. Which means we have to keep the house in order and you both need to stay out of trouble."

"Sounds easy enough," Sodapop said.

"Yeah, well I didn't get the impression that they were too big on the idea of a nineteen year old talking care of a sixteen year old and a thirteen year old," Darry told them. "Which means I bet they will be picky."

"We'll just have to give them no reason to separate us," Sodapop said as if it were obvious, turning and starting to eat his eggs.

Darry focused on Ponyboy, who had been quietly pushing his eggs around his plate again.

"What do you think, Pony?" Darry asked gently.

Ponyboy shrugged, not looking up. "Sounds okay," he said.

Darry sighed. It wasn't exactly the reaction he was looking for.

"We'll all pitch in," Sodapop said decidedly. "Like you said last night, we'll be okay. As long as we get to stay together, we'll be okay."

Darry nodded, glad that at least one of his brothers was on board with making this work. He watched Ponyboy push his eggs around for another minute. He hadn't taken one bite as far as he could tell, though he had eaten a pretty good portion of the cake.

"You don't like your eggs, Ponyboy?" Darry asked.

Ponyboy finally looked up at him. "I like my eggs hard," he said flatly. "That's how mom used to always make them for me."

Darry smiled lightly. "Sorry, kiddo, I didn't know that," he said, reaching over and giving him an apologetic pat on the shoulder. "I'll be sure to remember that from now on." He was glad for an easy problem to fix.

Sodapop grinned. "Well, now that we got the egg situation all sorted out," he said with a laugh, "how about me an' Pony clean up since you cooked?"

Soda stood and started collecting the dishes, elbowing Ponyboy playfully. Ponyboy gave a ghost of a smile as he went to the sink and started running the water. _At least Soda can get him to smile…_ Darry thought to himself as they started splashing each other and laughing as they started washing the dishes.

Just then the door banged open and Two-Bit peeked into the kitchen, clearly assessing the mood in the house. He grinned when he saw Sodapop and Ponyboy joking around.

"Looks like you boys are feeling better," he laughed as he entered the kitchen. "Also, the house seems to have survived the night under Darry's charge. That's a good sign."

"Watch yourself," Darry said, though he said it with a chuckle. He was glad that they were able to joke around. The house had been too serious over the past week. "Hey Johnny." Johnny Cade had silently followed Two-Bit into the kitchen.

"Hey Darry," Johnny said with a small smile. "It was a real nice funeral yesterday."

"Yeah, it was," Darry said with a sad smile.

"Where's Steve and Dallas?" Sodapop asked, glancing around and throwing a handful of soapy water at Two-Bit.

"Watch it!" Two-Bit said with a laugh. "Steve is working and Dallas is either hung over or still drunk, it's hard to tell. He was headed over to Buck's place to sleep I think."

"Ah," Sodapop said, turning back to the sink. He paused for a moment. "Maybe I should head over to work. Help Steve out and get some extra money."

"Oh, don't worry about that yet, Soda," Darry said with a pained expression. He hated the way that Sodapop was already so concerned about their financial situation. He was only sixteen years old after all. "We're all going to take it easy for a few days. I'm not going back to work until Wednesday. I figure that's when you and Pony can head back to school too."

Sodapop sighed. He finished up the dishes and then walked over to Darry as Ponyboy went into the other room with Johnny and Two-Bit.

"Listen, you don't have to do this all on your own," Soda said, sitting down at the table. "I can help."

"I know you can," Darry said. "But you also have to graduate high school, Soda. You can do both."

"Darry," Soda said seriously. "Look, the only subjects I'm even passing are auto mechanics and gym. What's graduating really going to do for me? I can already fix cars, and that's what I like to do. I'd much rather be working on cars then sitting in math or English. And I'd be getting paid."

Darry felt uncomfortable. He felt so strongly about education. He would love to be getting ready for college like so many of his friends from school. Ponyboy was like him in that way. But Sodapop was different. He always had been. But what would their parents say if Soda asked them if he could drop out of school to work full time?

"I don't know…" Darry sighed.

"You shouldn't have to work yourself to death at nineteen, Darry," Sodapop said.

"And you shouldn't have to drop out of school and work full time at sixteen," Darry pointed out. "There's a lot of 'shouldn't have' going around."

"Let me help," Sodapop said, a note of pleading in his voice.

Darry sighed and hung his head. He was silent for a while, thinking hard. What would their parents want him to do?

"Okay, here's the deal," Darry said finally. "You are going to stay in school at least for now. We are going see how things go for four months. Then we can discuss you working full time."

"Two months," Sodapop countered.

Darry shook his head. "The first month is going to be a struggle in any case," Darry said. "We need to let things settle down a bit. You could even finish out the year."

"Three months," Sodapop allowed.

"Let's just at least agree to see how it goes for a while," Darry said tiredly. "Please Soda, I don't want my first decision as your guardian to be pulling you out of high school."

Sodapop's gaze softened. "Yeah, okay," he said resignedly. "We'll revisit it later."

"Thank you," Darry said.

Sodapop cracked a smile. "See, I told you that you would be a good guardian," he said. "You already sound like a parent."

"Yeah, would you tell Ponyboy that?" Darry said dully.

"Oh, don't worry so much about Pony," Soda assured him. "He's still in shock. He just needs some time."

"I sure hope so," Darry mumbled to himself.

Sodapop gave Darry a pat on the shoulder as he stood. "You'll see," he said with a grin. "Don't be so tense." And with that he went to join the commencing ruckus in the living room.

Darry just sighed. He took the rare opportunity of being alone to reach back and open one of the kitchen drawers. It was full of papers that he pulled out and set on the table in front of him. He started leafing through them, all old bills that his parents had paid. He didn't even know where to begin figuring out how he was going to pay all these. Plus they were really low on food. He would have to get more tomorrow at the latest. But he had no idea how much they should spend.

He pulled a pad of paper and pen out of another drawer and set to work crunching number. Their parents had left them a little money after they had passed. It would be nice to have that cushion until he figured out how he could support himself and his two younger brothers. He fought back the anxiety that threatened to overwhelm him. He had to make this work.

Steve and Dallas came over around dinner time that day with some fast food for them all. Darry was grateful since he had spent the day crunching numbers and they didn't have enough food in the house to feed the whole gang. They sat around the living room, making a mess and joking around. The mood was light and everyone was smiling, even Ponyboy. It felt good to have the support from the other boys. They were all like family, even more so now. They talked well into the night, until finally they had to admit that most of them had to get up for school in the morning.

"We'll come back and check on you boys after school," Two-Bit said in a very mock- parental voice as they were all filing out the door. "Now you behave yourselves."

Darry gave Two-Bit a playful smack upside his head. "Get out of here, you Loony Tune," he laughed.

"I prefer Mickey Mouse," Two-Bit said, spinning on his heels to walk backwards out the door and pointing at the t-shirt under his leather jacket that featured a dancing Mickey Mouse.

"What are you, seven years old?" Sodapop laughed.

"Seven and three quarters!" Two-Bit called as he jumped down the stairs and took off after the rest of the gang.

Darry rolled his eyes as he shut the door behind them. Sodapop and Ponyboy were already picking up the trash that the gang had left behind.

"So, we don't have to go to school tomorrow, right?" Ponyboy asked Darry.

"No, you don't," Darry confirmed. "I talked to the school last week and they said it was fine if you both wanted to wait until Wednesday to go back. That gives us a few days to adjust."

Ponyboy nodded, then yawned. Darry noticed Sodapop looking tired as well.

"Why don't you two head to bed," Darry said. "I'll finish up out here."

Neither one protested, proving how tired they actually were. They both shuffled off to their rooms as Darry finished straightening up the living room. He went into the kitchen and his eyes fell on the mess of papers he had left on the kitchen table. He sighed, the stress from the financial burden coming back to him. He was definitely going to have to get a second job. And even then it was still going to be tight.

His mind wandered back to Sodapop's proposal. It was looking more and more tempting to take him up on it. Even if he did make Soda finish high school, he knew his brother had no interest in college. But Ponyboy was different. He had skipped a grade in school because he was so smart. If they could at least keep Ponyboy in school perhaps they could send him to college someday.

Darry rubbed his temples, feeling a tension headache coming on. He decided that it was too late at night to think about this anymore. He needed to get some sleep and then he could tackle the problem again in the morning.

Not long after he had sent Pony and Soda to bed, Darry followed suit. Exhaustion was hanging heavy on him. Tonight he didn't toss and turn and worry. Tonight he fell right asleep.

Darry was deep asleep at two in the morning and didn't immediately wake up when there was a shriek from across the hall. His mind was slow to work and he stumbled out of bed before his mind could comprehend what was wrong.

This time Sodapop had beaten Darry to Ponyboy's bedroom. The door was open and the light was on as Darry hurried across the hall. He saw that Ponyboy was still asleep, thrashing around and screaming at the top of his lungs. Darry was hit with a wave of panic as he hurried to stand beside Sodapop who was already at Ponyboy's bedside.

"Ponyboy!" Sodapop yelled over him and he firmly shook his shoulders. "Ponyboy, wake up! It's just a nightmare, wake up!"

Ponyboy's eyes flew open and darted around the room, not focusing on either of his brothers right away. His breath was coming in gasps and he was covered with a cold sweat just like the night before.

"Ponyboy, hey, Pony," Darry said gently, sitting on the edge of the bed and trying to get Ponyboy's attention. He reached up and rubbed Ponyboy's shoulder. "It's okay, kiddo. It was just a dream. Just a bad dream."

Ponyboy slowly sat up, starting to tremble, his eyes wide with fear as he looked from Darry to Sodapop and back.

"You okay, Pony?" Sodapop asked, looking a bit shaken himself.

Ponyboy mutely nodded.

"Do you remember what you dreamed about?" Darry asked, concerned.

"N-no," Ponyboy stammered. Suddenly the color drained from his face and he was scrambling out of bed.

"Ponyboy?" Sodapop said, confused as Ponyboy ran from the room.

Darry followed him out into the hallway with Sodapop on his heels. A moment later they both heard the sounds of vomiting coming from the bathroom. Sodapop shot Darry a worried look as he hurried into the bathroom. Darry stood in the doorway while Soda knelt down next to Ponyboy and gently rubbed his back as he hunched over the toilet.

"I think he's just worked up," Soda said, glancing back at Darry as Ponyboy heaved again.

Darry nodded, but still looked concerned.

Ponyboy spit into the toilet and then leaned back. "I'm okay," he mumbled, wiping sweat from his brow.

"Hang on," Darry said, walking down the hall and into the kitchen. He filled up a glass with cold water and brought it back to the bathroom. He sat down on the floor next to Ponyboy and handed him the glass. "Drink up."

Ponyboy took a few big gulps.

"Not so fast, Pony, you'll get sick again," Sodapop warned him.

"Just take small sips," Darry agreed.

Ponyboy obeyed and sipped from the glass. Darry watched him carefully, a tight feeling in his chest. This was the second night in a row that Ponyboy had been terrified by a dream that he couldn't even remember. And it seemed so much worse than just scary monsters. Whatever Ponyboy dreamed about had scared him down to his very core.

"Sorry," Ponyboy mumbled, looking down at the floor.

"Don't apologize, Pony, it's not your fault," Sodapop assured him gently.

"How do you feel?" Darry asked.

"Better," Ponyboy said. Darry studied him for a moment. His color did seem to be coming back, but his eyes still looked fearful.

"Come on, let's get you back to bed," Darry said tiredly.

Sodapop helped Ponyboy back to his feet and the three went back down the hall back into Ponyboy's room. Ponyboy climbed back into bed and Sodapop immediately climbed in after him.

"I'll stay here again," Sodapop said as he stretched and yawned.

"Thanks, Soda," Ponyboy said.

Darry smiled, having the urge to thank Sodapop as well.

"Good night," Darry said as he made his way back out of the room.

"Night Darry," Ponyboy said quietly and Sodapop just mumbled into a pillow.

Darry flipped off the light and closed the door behind him. He went back to his own room and closed the door and sighed. Tonight had been worse instead of better. Weren't things supposed to be getting better with time?


	3. The Healing Powers of Chocolate Cake

**Author's Note: I would like to thank the four people who have taken the time to review, I really, really appreciate it! Please read and review, and I will continue to post chapters! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders.**

_Chapter Three: The Healing Powers of Chocolate Cake_

Darry glanced at the clock. It was nine in the morning, later than he usually slept. He was thankful that he didn't have to go back to work right away. As he dragged himself out of bed his eyes were still heavy with sleep.

He stumbled down the hall to find that the house was unusually quiet. Soda and Pony must still be fast asleep. He was glad for that. Both of them had seemed so worn out the night before.

Darry wandered into the kitchen and pulled out the rest of the eggs from the ice box. He made sure to set two aside to hard boil for Ponyboy and went ahead and scrambled the rest since Sodapop had eaten his without complaint. There were a few pieces of bacon left so he cooked those up too. He definitely needed to get to the grocery store today.

He spooned some eggs onto a plate and left the rest on low heat to keep them warm for when Sodapop got up. He dumped the other two eggs into a pot of water and set it to boil for Ponyboy. He placed the plate of eggs on the table and cleared off the papers he had left on the table the night before, shoving them back into a drawer out of sight. Then he walked out to the porch to grab the newspaper before he went and sat back down at the kitchen table with his eggs, a piece of bacon, and his black coffee.

He sat at the table reading the paper for a good half hour before he heard any movement from the rest of the house. Sodapop shuffled into the kitchen, his eyes only half open as he went for the ice box. He pulled out what was left of the chocolate cake and fell into the seat beside Darry at the table. Darry rolled his eyes.

"I made eggs, you know," Darry pointed out, motioning to the eggs still simmering on the stove.

"You just can't beat chocolate cake," Sodapop said with a big yawn.

Darry shook his head. "You can't have that every morning," he said, turning back to his paper. "I'm going food shopping today, we'll have more to pick from tomorrow morning. We're out of chocolate milk, but there's some regular milk in there that I hope Ponyboy will drink."

Sodapop simply grunted as he took a bite of cake. "He didn't sleep well at all last night," he said quietly.

Darry sighed. "He didn't?" he asked, frowning at Soda.

Sodapop shook his head. "He was real shook up, even more so than the night before. Kept tossing and turning all night. I dozed off a few times, but every time I woke up his eyes were open."

"Great," Darry mumbled. "That's two nights in a row. That can't be normal."

"Think he should go to a doctor or something?" Sodapop asked, worry in his voice.

"Well, let's see if it continues," Darry said warily.

Sodapop nodded vaguely. He got up and retrieved the scrambled eggs from the stove and started in on those. Twenty minutes later Ponyboy finally showed up in the kitchen, looking even more tired than Sodapop. He plopped into a chair at the kitchen table and blinked sleepily.

Darry got up and dumped the hard boiled eggs onto a plate and poured two glasses of plain milk. He gave Pony the eggs and a glass and gave the other glass to Sodapop.

"Thanks Darry," Ponyboy said with a smile as he saw the eggs.

"I'll get the hang of it," Darry said lightly. "We're out of chocolate milk though. I'll get some more from the store today."

Ponyboy took a sip of the plain milk and made a face.

"I can fix that," Sodapop announced. He broke a small handful of the chocolate cake off and crumbled it up into his own glass of plain milk. He covered the top with his hand and shook it up. When he took his hand off, he licked the excess milk off his palm and grinned widely. "Just gotta add the chocolate!" Ponyboy grinned and laughed as Sodapop crumbled some cake into his glass too. "Ta-da!" He took a swig of his own milk. "Just like chocolate milk!"

"You're crazy, Sodapop," Ponyboy said with a laugh. He took a gulp of his improvised chocolate milk. "Pretty good though."

"You two are gonna be three hundred pounds if you eat like that every day," Darry said, shaking his head.

"Live a little," Sodapop said, pushing the plate of chocolate cake toward him. There wasn't much left of it. Darry smiled and picked up a chunk with his fingers and popped it into his mouth. Sodapop and Ponyboy both grinned at him.

Darry just shook his head, turning to Ponyboy. "I take it your stomach feels better today," he said.

Ponyboy nodded earnestly. "Yeah, it feels fine today," he said.

"Like I said, he was probably just worked up last night," Soda said casually, taking another swig of his milk.

"Yeah, that was probably it," Ponyboy agreed, looking away to try and hide his embarrassment.

Darry tilted his head, trying to get a good look at Ponyboy's face as he asked his next question. "And you don't remember anything from the dream you had?"

Ponyboy thought for a moment and then shook his head. "Not a thing," he confirmed. "All I remember is waking up." He looked up at Darry, betraying some of the fear that was still in his eyes. "What do you think is wrong with me?"

"I don't know kid," Darry said, looking concerned. "We'll wait and see if it gets any better. It might be just from the stress of this whole miserable week. In the meantime try not to worry about it."

Ponyboy nodded as he started in on his eggs. He seemed tense and Darry frowned, unsure how he should comfort his little brother.

Ponyboy and Sodapop cleaned up after breakfast again as Darry got ready to go to the store. He couldn't put it off any longer.

"Any special requests?" Darry asked, as he got ready to go.

"Yeah, we need ingredients to make more chocolate cake," Sodapop said as he plopped down on the couch.

"I think you've had your fill of chocolate cake, little buddy," Darry said, rolling his eyes.

"You can never have too much chocolate cake," Sodapop countered. "Chocolate cake equals happiness, Darry. Don't deny your little brothers happiness." He grinned.

Darry shook his head, but couldn't think up an argument. The chocolate cake was good after all. Maybe they didn't have to grow up too much.

A few hours later Darry finally returned with the groceries. It had taken him longer than it should have at the market. He had agonized over prices and whether or not his brothers would like different foods.

"There are a few more bags in the truck," Darry said as he entered the house to find Sodapop and Ponyboy sitting on the couch watching TV.

"Good to know," Sodapop said, not moving. Darry glared at him and Soda just grinned, pushing himself up off the couch and heading for the door. "I'm just kidding," he laughed.

Ponyboy followed Darry into the kitchen and started helping him unpack the groceries and putting things away. Sodapop came in a minute later with the rest of the bags.

"Yes!" Sodapop said, pulling out the flour, sugar, and cocoa powder. They were all ingredients for chocolate cake. "If this is your attempt to bribe us for anything the answer is yes!"

Darry smiled. "Let's call it incentive for good behavior," he said with a laugh.

The three put the groceries away before Ponyboy and Sodapop went back to the living room to watch more TV. Darry watched them from the doorway to the kitchen for a minute, suddenly wondering if it was such a good idea to keep them out of school a few more days. Maybe sending them right back to school would have been better, would have kept their minds off of things. It was odd seeing them sit quietly on the couch all day, though Sodapop did keep cracking jokes and getting Ponyboy to laugh.

Darry went back into the kitchen and pulled his parents' old financial papers out of the drawer again. He spread them out on the kitchen table and attempted to make sense of them. For a while the only noise came from the television. It was late afternoon before there was any new noise in the house.

"Well hey Curtises." Darry heard the front door open and Two-Bit's voice.

"Quiet, knucklehead," Sodapop said in an undertone. "He hasn't been sleeping the last few nights."

Darry leaned back in his chair so that he could see out into the living room. Ponyboy was stretched out on the couch fast asleep and Soda was sitting to one side with Ponyboy's legs draped over his lap. Darry smiled, glad that Ponyboy was getting some sleep.

Sodapop slid out from underneath Ponyboy carefully so as not to wake him before following Two-Bit back outside. Darry could hear Steve out there as well. He hoped that they would keep it down long enough for Ponyboy to get some more rest.

About twenty minutes later there was a low groaning noise coming from the living room. Darry didn't immediately identify the sound as coming from the living room at all, but rather assumed it was coming from outside where it sounded like Sodapop was tossing around a football with Two-Bit and Steve. They had left the front door open with only the screen door closed. By the time he realized what was happening Ponyboy's groans had turned into screams.

Darry sprang to his feet, knocking over the chair he had been sitting in in the process but not caring. He ran into the living room just in time to see Ponyboy thrash, pushing himself off the couch and falling to the floor between the couch and the old wooden coffee table, landing with a dull thud and a yelp.

"Ponyboy!" Darry exclaimed, just as Sodapop rushed back into the house with Two-Bit and Steve in tow.

Sodapop reached Ponyboy first, kneeling down by his head. Darry pulled the coffee table out of the way and jumped over it in order to kneel next to Soda. Ponyboy lifted his head a little and looked around, confused.

"Easy Pony," Sodapop said gently, leaning down and helping Ponyboy sit up.

"What…?" Ponyboy mumbled.

"You were sleeping," Sodapop answered his unfinished question. "You just fell off the couch." He took a good look at Ponyboy and then swore under his breath. He looked up at Darry and mouthed _He's bleeding_.

Darry felt himself pale as he moved around to get a look at Ponyboy as he sat back on his heels, still looking disoriented. Sure enough there was a cut on his forehead just above his left temple and there was a stream blood running down the side of his face. Darry glanced back at the coffee table and figured he must have caught the corner of it when he had fallen.

"Glory, what was that all about?" Two-Bit said from behind them.

"Come on, Pony, let's get you cleaned up," Darry said, ignoring Two-Bit's question. He helped Ponyboy to his feet and led him to the bathroom where they kept the first aid kit.

Darry put the lid to the toilet down and had Ponyboy sit on top of it before he started rummaging in the cabinet under the sink. He could hear Sopapop talking softly in the other room, probably explaining to Two-Bit and Steve about the nightmares Ponyboy had been having. He glanced at Ponyboy who looked on the verge of tears and was trembling a bit.

"You okay, kid?" Darry asked as he finally found the first aid kit.

Ponyboy nodded silently. Sodapop came into the bathroom and sat down on the edge of the tub near Ponyboy.

"You don't think he needs stitches, do you Darry?" Sodapop asked worriedly.

"I don't think so," Darry said carefully as he started to clean the blood off of the side of Ponyboy's face. He was remembering years ago when Sodapop was around seven he had hit his head while playing outside. Darry had been supposed to be watching out for him, but he was more interested in practicing his football throw against the house. Darry had been scared by all the blood but his mother had explained to him that head wounds always bled a lot and Sodapop hadn't needed stitches. He met Ponyboy's eyes. "How do you feel Pony? Dizzy or disoriented at all?"

"N-no, not really," Ponyboy mumbled. A few stray tears streaked down his cheeks, but he was fighting hard against them.

"Does it hurt a lot?" Darry asked.

"No," Ponyboy said. "Not a lot. Just stings."

"How many fingers?" Sodapop asked, holding up three fingers in front of Ponyboy.

Ponyboy shot him an annoyed look. "Three," he said flatly. "I'm fine, I swear."

Darry pushed back Ponyboy's hair and cleaned out the cut with a little peroxide and Ponyboy winced. It didn't look like a deep cut and Darry was immensely relieved. He had only been officially in charge of Ponyboy and Sodapop for a few days, the last thing he wanted to do was turn up in the emergency room with one of his brothers. How would that look to the social workers?

"It don't look bad to me," Darry said as he pulled out some band-aids. "It looks like it's already stopped bleeding."

"Gosh, kid, you gotta stop scaring us like that," Sodapop said with a laugh, giving Ponyboy a pat on the knee. "I'm too young for gray hair!"

"I don't mean to," Ponyboy muttered as Darry put two band-aids across his cut.

"Another nightmare?" Darry asked, though the answer was obvious. Ponyboy nodded. "And you don't remember anything about it?"

"I really don't," Ponyboy said, looking up and meeting his eyes.

Darry looked at him with concern for a moment and then sighed. "Well, I'll give the doctor a call, set up an appointment to get you checked out."

"You really think I need to see a doctor?" Ponyboy asked, touching the band-aids on his head gingerly.

"Not for that cut, just to see about those nightmares," Darry clarified. "They seem to be getting worse instead of better." He studied Ponyboy for a minute, noticing that he looked a little sickly. He put his hand on Ponyboy's forehead. "C'mere, Soda," he said. Sodapop leaned in and Darry put his other hand on Sodapop's forehead for comparison, just like their mother used to do. "You feel a little warm Pony. If you don't get some sleep you're going to get sick."

"Not like I ain't trying," Ponyboy pointed out.

"Yeah, I know kiddo," Darry said, dropping his hands back down.

"Is the kid still alive in there?" Two-Bit stuck his head in the already crowded bathroom.

"I'm fine," Ponyboy said defensively, standing up.

"No more scary monsters?" Steve teased from the living room.

"Oh, lay off him," Sodapop called good-naturedly as he got up and walked out of the room. A moment later there was the general ruckus of a wrestling match. Two-Bit disappeared in order to go watch, cheering them both on.

Darry laughed lightly and started cleaning up. Then he noticed that Ponyboy was still standing there, looking lost in thought.

"Don't mind, Steve, he was just teasing," Darry told him.

"I know," Ponyboy said. He looked at Darry. "Why do you think I can't remember any of the nightmares?"

Darry sighed heavily. "I wish I knew," he said. He had no answers for his kid brother, which pained him. He finished putting away the first aid kit and stood, slinging an arm over Ponyboy's shoulders and squeezing in an attempt to comfort him. "Don't worry about it too much. They're just dreams, Ponyboy. We'll figure it out."

"Yeah," Ponyboy said dully, then walked back into the living room to watch Sodapop and Steve wrestle.

"Hey, take it easy, I don't want to be cleaning up any more head wounds today," Darry said as he passed through the living room to get to the kitchen.

"You heard Darry, save the head wounds for tomorrow!" Two-Bit laughed.

"Say uncle!" Steve yelled as he pinned Sodapop down so hard it seemed to knock the wind out of him. Darry just shook his head and continued into the kitchen.

In the kitchen, Darry sorted through some of the papers he had left on the table. He finally found some of Ponyboy's old medical records with his pediatrician's information on it. It suddenly hit Darry how young Ponyboy really was, seeing a pediatrician. He tried to act older most of the time in order to fit in with the rest of the gang.

He called up the office and managed to get Ponyboy an appointment for next week, though he had been hoping to get one for the next day. He would have to take off work a little early and pick Ponyboy up from school. He sighed as he hung up, not liking the thought of losing a few hours pay already, but knowing that he had to get Ponyboy checked out. However he reasoned that if the nightmares seemed to let up then maybe they could reconsider the appointment.

It was about dinnertime, so Darry went through their new stock of food and began cooking. He made more than necessary because he knew that Steve at least would stick around for dinner, not wanting to go home to his violent father, and Johnny and Dallas could always stop by too. Despite being worried about money and making ends meet, he wouldn't deny food to the rest of the gang, especially the ones with particularly bad home lives.

"Dinner time," Darry called, walking back into the living room. He glanced around, only seeing Sodapop and Steve sitting on the floor playing cards. "Where's Ponyboy?"

"He's out on the porch with Johnny," Sodapop said.

Darry walked passed them, opened the front door and looked out. Ponyboy and Johnny were sitting on the step and when they turned he saw that they both had cigarettes in their hands. Johnny had been smoking for years now, but it was the first time Darry had ever seen Ponyboy with a cigarette. Darry reasoned that it would hopefully at least calm his nerves a bit. He was looking particularly jumpy since the nightmares started.

"Dinner time Pony," Darry said, making no comment about the cigarette. "Johnny, you hungry?"

"You got enough food?" Johnny asked as they both put out their cigarettes.

"Plenty, get in here," Darry said, heading back into the house. Johnny's parents fought all the time and when they weren't fighting each other Johnny's father would hit him around and his mother would scream at him so loud it could be heard blocks away. There was no way Darry would willingly send Johnny back there.

Back inside the house there was a bit of chaos as the five boys dug into the chicken, potatoes and vegetables that Darry had made. They wouldn't all fit in the kitchen so they gathered in the living room sitting on the couch and the floor, everyone being loud and joking around. There was even some food throwing, especially the vegetables which none of them really wanted to eat.

Darry smiled at the scene. The past week had been miserable. The house had been deathly quiet. Ponyboy locked himself in his room for hours on end and when Darry would walk by he could hear him crying. Sodapop's face held this devastated look and he would wander around the house without really looking at anything or seeming to be going anywhere. The gang would stop over as much as they could, but there was a seriousness to them that Darry had never seen before. No one joked. No one laughed. No one smiled. They were all hit hard by the terrible tragedy. It seemed impossible that anything would ever feel normal again. But as Darry looked around he found himself feeling vaguely happy. He watched his brothers smile and laugh and joke. Maybe there was a way to move on and create a life for themselves… even without their parents.

Johnny and Steve stayed late again that night, both reluctant to leave. Finally exhaustion got the best of them and they both headed home with Darry telling them to come back if things got too bad at their own houses. Sodapop was falling asleep on his feet as he went to the bathroom to wash up then sleepily bid his brothers goodnight and headed to bed.

Darry was heading to his room from using the bathroom when he heard a noise coming from the living room. He went to look and found Ponyboy still sitting on the couch with the lights off and the television on with the volume very low.

"C'mon Pony, time for bed," Darry said.

"I just want to finish this show," Ponyboy said, nodding at the TV. "I don't got school in the morning."

Darry sighed. "Okay, but just that one show," he gave in. "If you don't get some sleep you're going to get sick and you've already missed a lot of school."

"Yeah," Ponyboy said distractedly.

"Ten minutes, Pony," Darry emphasized as he headed back to his room. If Ponyboy answered he didn't hear him. He closed his door and climbed into bed, listening to the muffled sounds from the television.

Finally he heard the TV click off and Ponyboy padding down the hallway. He was satisfied as he heard

Ponyboy's door close and he rolled over, hoping to get a good few hours sleep in before Ponyboy had another nightmare.


	4. Normalcy

**Author's Note: Once again, thank you to those of you who have reviewed! I really appreciate it a lot! Please continue to do so! Let me know what you think. Special shout out to ****hgismylife379**** for being so helpful! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders**

_Chapter Four: Normalcy_

Much to Darry's surprise when he next woke up the house was quiet and there was light coming in through his window. He blinked, feeling confused for a moment. Did Ponyboy really sleep through the night? He pushed himself out of bed and yawned, wondering if he had worried too much about Ponyboy's nightmares. Perhaps they had already passed as they tried to move on from their parents' death.

He heard noises coming from the kitchen as he wandered down the hallway and was surprised to find

Sodapop was already up and had started on breakfast.

"Morning sleepyhead," Sodapop laughed as Darry entered the kitchen.

"Why are you up so early?" Darry asked as he poured himself some coffee from the pot that Sodapop had started for him.

"Thought I'd take a turn making breakfast," Soda said with a shrug. "I had a craving for some pancakes."

"Uh-huh," Darry mumbled absently, sitting down at the kitchen table. "Well I guess Ponyboy had a better night. He must have been too tired to have another nightmare."

Sodapop didn't answer immediately and Darry looked at him curiously.

"I don't know about that…" Soda said reluctantly.

"What do you mean?" Darry asked. He knew that if Ponyboy had been screaming in his sleep again he would have heard it, being just across the hall from him. There was no way he could sleep through that… could he?

"I woke up late last night and had to take a pee," Sodapop said, glancing over his shoulder at

Darry. "When I passed Ponyboy's room his light was still on. I thought maybe he was just afraid to turn it off, but when I passed by on the way back I could hear him walking around in there. That was maybe around 3:00. I think he just stayed up all night."

Darry let out a frustrated sigh. "Why would he do that?" he asked with exasperation.

Sodapop shrugged, turning back to the stove. "Those dreams really scared him," he said simply.

"I don't understand how when he don't even remember what they are about," Darry muttered.

"But that's probably what makes it so scary," Sodapop reasoned. "It's not something he can work through or figure out 'cause he doesn't even know what it is that's scaring him so bad."

"I guess," Darry sighed. He heavily got to his feet and trudged out to the porch to get the paper. On the way back he decided to stop by Ponyboy's room. He knocked softly on the door. "Ponyboy?" he asked as he opened the door.

"Morning," Ponyboy mumbled. He was sitting up on his bed with the light still on and a book in his lap. He was staring very intently down at the book in front of him.

"Breakfast is almost ready," Darry told him and he just nodded silently. Darry left the door open and headed back into the kitchen. "He's up and reading already," he told Sodapop. Sodapop just nodded as he tossed another pancake on the growing pile he had on a serving plate. Darry did a double take when he saw them. "Soda… are those pancakes _supposed_ to be green?"

Sodapop grinned. "Sure, why not?" he said with a laugh.

"They look moldy," Darry said, making a face. "What did you put in them?" He looked at the ingredients scattered across the counter.

"Oh, I'm sure they're fine," Sodapop said with a grin and a dismissive wave of his hand.

"I'm totally convinced," Darry said sarcastically.

"What's life without a little risk?" Soda laughed as he put the pancakes on the table.

"I really don't think breakfast should be that risky," Darry countered, but he couldn't help smiling.

A few minutes later, Ponyboy shuffled into the room. Darry took a good look at him before saying anything, and he certainly looked like he had been up all night. There were dark shadows under his eyes and he looked pale and like he would fall asleep at any moment. Darry felt annoyed. Did he really think the solution to stopping the nightmares would be to just stop sleeping?

"Good morning, Ponyboy," Sodapop said lightly. "Fancy some pancakes?"

Ponyboy didn't answer, just plopped down in a seat.

"How did you sleep?" Darry asked. "Any nightmares?"

Ponyboy shook his head. "No nightmares," he mumbled as Sodapop put a plate of pancakes in front of him, and then took the seat next to him. Soda took a bite of pancake as Ponyboy looked down at them curiously.

"See, they taste fine," Sodapop announced, sounding a little surprised. "How 'bout them apples!"

Darry rolled his eyes and then focused back on Ponyboy. "Looks like you didn't sleep at all, kid," he said.

"Couldn't fall asleep," Ponyboy said, carefully taking a bite of pancake.

"Ponyboy, I know those nightmares have got you scared, but you still have to sleep," Darry said tiredly as he took a bite of his breakfast. The pancakes actually tasted pretty good, even if they did look moldy.

"I know," Ponyboy said stubbornly.

"Hey, how about after breakfast I'll sit with you on the couch again and you can take a nap," Sodapop suggested, obviously trying to release the tension.

"Yeah, sounds okay," Ponyboy said quietly.

They finished their breakfasts in silence.

"You two go ahead, I'll clean up," Darry said when they had finished. He gathered the plates and washed the dishes. When he went to check on Ponyboy and Sodapop he found that the TV was on and Ponyboy was stretched out across the couch with his head resting on a pillow that was in Sodapop's lap. Ponyboy was fast asleep. Sodapop ran his hand absentmindedly through Ponyboy's hair.

"Out like a light," Darry murmured, sitting down in the armchair next to the couch.

Sodapop smiled. "Yeah, he's exhausted," he said.

Ponyboy slept for hours. Around lunchtime Darry had to bring Sodapop a sandwich so he wouldn't have to move and disturb Ponyboy.

"Maybe we should wake him," Darry said quietly around mid afternoon.

"Why? You said yourself he needs his sleep," Sodapop objected.

"Yeah, but he's gotta sleep some tonight, you two have school in the morning," Darry pointed out.

"Yeah, I guess," Sodapop said reluctantly, looking down at his brother sleeping peacefully. "It's just nice to see him not screamin' bloody murder while he sleeps."

"Maybe you should stay with him tonight," Darry suggested. "Maybe he'll sleep better if he's not alone." _Also it'll keep him from reading all night to stay awake_, he thought to himself.

Sodapop nodded. "Good idea," he said. Then he gently shook Ponyboy's shoulder. "Ponyboy," he said. "Come on Ponyboy, time to get up." Ponyboy groaned and rolled so he was facing the inside of the couch. Sodapop smiled. "Well, I tried," he said raising his hands in defeat, his eyes laughing.

Darry rolled his eyes. "You didn't try," he said tolerantly. He moved over to the couch and crouched down. "Rise and shine, Pony," he said just before he began tickling Ponyboy's sides.

"Hey!" Ponyboy yelped before he started laughing. Sodapop grinned and joined in with tickling and Ponyboy was almost in tears from laughing so hard. "Can't…. breathe!" Ponyboy gasped, grinning widely.

Darry and Sodapop both stopped tickling him, both laughing themselves. It felt so incredibly… normal. Like maybe their parents weren't gone. Maybe they had just gone on vacation and Darry was just the older brother who was in charge until they got back.

"You can't sleep all day, Ponyboy," Darry said, getting up. "You gotta sleep some tonight." Ponyboy sat up and rubbed his eyes. "You hungry, kiddo? You missed lunch."

"Yeah," Ponyboy answered, yawning.

Darry went and got the extra sandwich he had made at lunchtime and handed it to Ponyboy. He watched as Ponyboy hungrily devoured the sandwich. He was glad to see he had gotten his appetite back.

"Are you feeling better?" Darry asked as he sat back in the armchair. "You look a lot better."

"Yeah, I feel fine," Ponyboy said as he swallowed a bite.

Darry nodded, relieved. If they could just understand these nightmares then it seemed like everything else would even out.

Sodapop was restless. Darry was surprised it had taken this long, usually Sodapop could never sit still but in the wake of their parents' tragic death it seemed like he was finally getting back to his old self. He told Darry he was going to walk down to the gas station to see Steve who was probably at work by now.

"You wanna come along, Pony?" Sodapop asked. "Get out and stretch your legs a bit?"

"Sure," Ponyboy said with a smile.

Darry was glad that things were finally starting to settle down. With Sodapop and Ponyboy out of the house Darry went through the help wanted ads in the newspaper. He had been working as a roofer for a few months now, hoping to save up for college. He liked the physical work that it required; it was something he was really good at. As he combed through the available jobs he was happy to find a few roofing and construction jobs listed. He circled them and made some phone calls. By the time Ponyboy and Sodapop returned for dinner he had some good leads.

Johnny and Dallas turned up for dinner as well. Dallas had a fresh black eye and as they ate he entertained them with his boasting of taking on three Socs at once earlier that afternoon.

"They're a bunch of wimps, man," Dallas went on, lighting up a cigarette even before he was done eating. "You should have seen this whiny Soc when I broke his nose, like he had never been punched in the face before. Hell, my old man broke my nose in a drunken rage when I was nine! You didn't see me whining about it."

They all laughed.

"The Socs are very protective of their faces," Sodapop commented. "That's all they got is their looks. Oh and nice cars. And nice clothes. And nice houses. And everything else. "

"Very true, Sodapop," Dallas laughed, pointing at him with his cigarette. He leaned back in his chair. "Gonna be a rumble soon. I can feel it in my bones."

"Look out kids, Dally is now psychic!" Sodapop laughed.

Darry laughed. But the truth was he wouldn't mind a rumble right about now. Things had been so tense lately that a meaningless fight was actually starting to sound pretty good.

"You'll see," Dallas said seriously. "Things are heating up out there. Won't be long before it explodes." He took a long drag of his cigarette.

"Wise words from the battlefield," Sodapop said with mock seriousness.

"Hey, what is life if not a war?" Dallas demanded, pounding his fist on the table for emphasis.

"Maybe you're life, Dally," Darry said with a laugh.

"Eh," Dallas grunted with a wave of his hand.

Sodapop stood and started clearing away the dishes. Johnny and Ponyboy started to head outside, but Darry stopped them.

"Help Sodapop with the dishes, then you can go outside," Darry told Ponyboy. "But just for a bit.

You got school in the morning."

"Yeah, yeah," Ponyboy said tiredly as he went to the sink.

"C'mon, Johnny, I'll loan you a cancer stick," Dallas said, heading outside with Johnny.

There was a lot of splashing as usual as Sodapop and Ponyboy did the dishes as quickly as possible before they ran out to the porch with Dally and Johnny. Darry smiled, noting how they were acting like little kids, but glad that they were able to. After looking through the help wanted ads one more time, Darry decided to go out and join them.

Ponyboy was with Johnny and Dallas at one end of the porch all smoking cigarettes. Steve had shown up and him and Sodapop were tossing a football on the front lawn in the fading light. Darry grinned. Playing football was something he sorely missed. He jumped down off the porch and just as Sodapop caught the football Darry tackled him to the ground.

"Ouf," Sodapop groaned, laughing. "Traveling!"

"That's not even the right sport, little buddy," Darry laughed. Sodapop had never been very in to organized sports.

"Soda!" Steve called, running over and Sodapop threw him the football, starting a game of keep away.

Darry jumped up and managed to catch Steve and wrestle the football away from him.

"Darry!" Dallas called.

Dallas had jumped over the porch railing and held out his hands, half smoked cigarette still in his mouth. Darry threw him the football and he ran as Steve and Sodapop gave chase. And just like that, that immense feeling of normalcy was back. Johnny and Ponyboy finished their cigarettes then ran to join them. Ponyboy intercepted a pass from Dallas meant for Darry and ran. He was incredibly fast, but Sodapop managed to cut him off, half tackling him and half tickling him, making him drop the football. Steve scooped it up, but Dallas quickly overtook him, throwing the football back to Darry.

"Get him!" Ponyboy called as both he and Johnny jumped on Darry, pulling him down to the ground.

Darry laughed and clutched onto the football as Ponyboy and Johnny clawed for it.

"Reinforcements!" Sodapop called as he and Steve jumped on the pile.

Dallas stood back and laughed as he lit up another cigarette, having lost his other one in the fray. Darry laughed as he pushed his way out from under the pile. It was dark at this point, the only light coming from the house, casting everyone in deep shadows. He wished so bad that they could just stay in this place. He wished they could just forget about the past week and just be kids. But he knew they couldn't. He knew _he_ couldn't. He was an adult now and he had to take care of his younger brothers.

"All right, it's getting late," he said, standing up and brushing grass and dirt off himself. "You kids got school in the morning."

Dallas laughed. "That's right kids," he teased. "It's beddy-bye time."

Ponyboy glared and Sodapop just laughed. Darry playfully smacked Dallas upside the head as he headed back for the house.

"We'll come by and pick you and the kid up for school tomorrow morning," Steve told Sodapop as he headed out with Dallas and Johnny.

"I'll be in high school next year," Ponyboy mumbled indignantly as he headed back to the house.

"Steve is just messing with you," Sodapop said.

"So I've heard," Ponyboy mumbled as he jumped up the stairs and reentered the house, Sodapop right behind him.

"Make sure all your school books are together, you're gonna be too tired to look for them in the morning," Darry said, remembering how neither of his brothers were morning people especially since neither had been getting much sleep lately.

Ponyboy rolled his eyes as he headed for his room. Darry just watched him go. Just a few minutes ago they were back to being brothers. Now Darry was back to being the parent. Would he ever get used to this? Would he ever find some kind of balance?

He sighed as he headed for the kitchen with Sodapop in tow.

"I'll probably be late tomorrow," he said as he cleaned up the papers he had left scattered around. "I'm going to look into a few jobs after work."

"Yeah, okay," Sodapop said, sounding a little distracted.

"Think you could make dinner tomorrow?" Darry asked. He knew he had to delegate. He couldn't do everything on his own.

"No problem," Sodapop said easily. "Can't guarantee it'll be conventional." He grinned at Darry.

"As long as it's edible," Darry laughed.

"I'll see what I can do about that," Sodapop said thoughtfully.

Darry glanced at the clock. It was getting late. "You all ready for school tomorrow? Got your books together?"

"I didn't bring any home," Sodapop said with a shrug.

"You haven't done any homework in a week and a half?" Darry asked in disbelief.

"At least I won't forget any of my books," Sodapop said brightly.

Darry pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache coming on. "It's almost ten," he said finally. "We should probably head to bed. Morning's gonna come awful fast, little buddy." He sighed. "Let's hope Pony has a quiet night."

"Amen, since I'll be sleeping right next to him," Sodapop laughed as he headed out of the kitchen.

All three of them washed up and got ready for bed. They were all unusually quiet, thinking about rejoining the rest of the world tomorrow. It would be a shock to see that the world had not stopped turning last week when they got that horrible news.

"Mind if I crash with you tonight?" Sodapop asked Ponyboy lightly.

"Yeah, sounds okay," Ponyboy said, trying to sound casual but looking a bit relieved.

"'Night you two," Darry said as he headed into his own room. He hoped that Sodapop would be enough to keep the nightmares away tonight. Tomorrow was going to be a long day.


	5. Day One and Already in Trouble

**Author's Note: Thanks once again to everyone who has reviewed and favorited this story! I kind of ran out of ideas for Darry so I have switched over to focusing more on Sodapop's point of view. Hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders.**

xXxXxXx

_Chapter Five: Day One and Already in Trouble_

Sodapop was woken out of a dead sleep by Ponyboy tossing and turning. He rolled over to find that Ponyboy was sweating and mumbling, starting to sound panicked. Soda pulled Ponyboy closer in an attempt to comfort him, but his brother only started struggling more.

"Pony," Soda said in a low voice, shaking him a bit. "It's only me Pony, wake up!"

Ponyboy woke up very suddenly, his eyes flew open and he gasped as if he were just surfacing after being underwater.

"Soda?" Ponyboy croaked, sounding disoriented.

"Yeah, it's just me," Sodapop repeated, calming down a bit himself. "You were just dreaming, Pony." Ponyboy was trembling in his arms and Sodapop squeezed him closer, hushing him softly and rubbing the back of his head lightly. They were quiet for a long time, but finally Ponyboy seemed to relax.

"Sorry, Soda," he mumbled as Sodapop finally released him.

"Don't worry about it, kid," Sodapop said. He didn't bother asking if Ponyboy remembered his dream. He knew that he didn't. He knew that's what made it so scary to Ponyboy. Sodapop rolled over, intending to go back to sleep. He didn't know what time it was, but they couldn't have more than a few more hours before they had to get up for school.

"Soda?" Ponyboy said softly. "Do you… do you miss them?"

Sodapop paused. He didn't need to ask who Ponyboy was talking about. He rolled back over and looked at Ponyboy solemnly, his face difficult to make out in the dark.

"Yeah, of course I miss them," he said gently. He could feel tears prickling at the corners of his eyes just at the mention of their parents. The pain was still very fresh. It had only been nine days since that police officer had shown up on their front porch. Nine days since everything had changed forever. Nine very long days. It already seemed like a lifetime ago.

Ponyboy sniffed and Sodapop could tell he was about to cry. Neither of them could bring themselves to talk about it, so Soda just threw his arm over Ponyboy protectively as they both drifted back off to sleep.

xXxXxXx

"Let's go, time to get up."

Sodapop groaned loudly as Darry shook both him and Pony before heading back out of the room. It couldn't possibly be morning already. Ponyboy was slowly pushing himself out of bed, a little more eager for school than Sodapop. Soda had never been very good at school and the thought of going back there after being away for so long was unpleasant at best.

What seemed like only a minute later he could feel Darry's hand on his shoulder, shaking him again.

"C'mon Soda, up and at 'em," Darry said. "You're gonna be late."

Soda blinked up at him with bleary eyes. Ponyboy was gone and he could hear the shower going. He must have nodded off again right after Pony had gotten up. Darry was still standing over him, obviously waiting for him to actually make and effort. Soda slowly realized that Darry was already fully dressed and wondered what time it was. Finally he pushed himself up into a sitting position.

"Sleep okay?" Darry asked. Sodapop nodded, rubbing his eyes. "What about Pony?"

"Oh," Soda mumbled, understanding what Darry was really asking. "He seemed to sleep okay." He yawned. "Woke him up before the nightmare got too bad I think. He went back to sleep though."

Darry nodded. "Well, it's an improvement," he said tiredly. "At least he wasn't screaming."

"Yeah…" Soda said vaguely, suddenly remembering what Ponyboy had said to him the night before. "He was asking about mom and dad last night," he said quietly.

Darry looked taken aback for a moment. He slowly sat down on the edge of the bed.

"What did he ask?" Darry asked slowly.

"Just if I missed them," Soda said with a shrug, trying to sound casual but his voice cracked slightly. "I think he's thinking about them a lot."

Darry just nodded, a far off look in his eyes. The silence stretched on until they heard the shower shut off. Darry stood up, shaking away that empty, lost look that he always hid when Ponyboy was around.

"Hurry up and get dressed," Darry said shortly. "Breakfast is ready."

Soda went back to his own room and found a pair of jeans on the floor that didn't look too dirty. He pulled them on, and then grabbed a t-shirt from his dresser before heading out to the kitchen, pulling the shirt over his head as he walked down the hall.

"You'll drop Pony off and pick him up, right?" Darry asked as Soda entered the kitchen.

"Uh, yeah," Sodapop said slowly. He eyed the scrambled eggs on the table then went to the ice box. "What time does he get out again?" Ponyboy often rode with the rest of the gang to school and they would drop him off at the middle school, even though he was always early and had to sit in the library until his school actually started. But their mom would almost always pick Pony up from school so the high schoolers wouldn't have to wait for him to get out.

"Three-thirty," Darry answered. "Just forty minutes after you guys."

Ponyboy walked into the kitchen fully dressed, his hair still damp from the shower. He sat down at the table and started on the hard boiled eggs Darry had put out for him. Soda sat down next to him, a jar of grape jelly in his hand.

"Any chocolate cake?" Ponyboy asked hopefully.

"Naw, we're out," Sodapop said as he spooned the jelly over his eggs, ignoring the confused looks he was getting from both his brothers. "I'll make another one tonight." He looked back up at Darry as he started eating. "Yeah, we'll pick him up today. I dunno about the days that I work after school though, it'll be kind of tight."

"I can just walk home," Ponyboy offered. "It's not that far."

Darry looked troubled as he thought it over, studying Ponyboy. "Maybe we could get Two-Bit to get you on days Soda works," he said slowly. "I'd rather not have you walking around by yourself."

Ponyboy rolled his eyes but made no comment. Just then there was a honk from outside. Both Ponyboy and Soda wolfed down the rest of their breakfasts.

"Don't forget your books," Darry told Ponyboy. Pony ran back to his room as Soda went to the front door. "Soda, you need to wear shoes too."

"Oh, right," Sodapop laughed, realizing he was about walk outside barefoot. He pulled his socks and shoes on and hurried out the door as Steve honked again. "We're comin', we're comin'," he griped. Steve was driving with Two-Bit riding shotgun. Soda slid in the backseat next to Johnny. "What's your rush?"

"We're cutting into our before school smokin' time," Two-Bit answered, reaching over and honking Steve's horn again. "The kid coming?"

"He was just grabbing his books," Soda said just as Pony came hurrying out of the house, Darry right behind him. Darry waved as he walked over to the truck.

"'Bout time, kid," Two-Bit said as Ponyboy slid in the backseat next to Soda. Steve barely waited for him to close the door before taking off. "If I don't get a few smokes in before school I'll be itchin' by the time I get to second period."

"Can I bum a cigarette?" Ponyboy asked, leaning up over the front seat.

Soda was only vaguely surprised as Two-Bit handed over one of his Kools. Soda didn't smoke very much and Darry didn't smoke at all, but the rest of the gang smoked pretty often. He knew Pony had been smoking with Dally and Johnny the night before, so it looked like he was getting to be a regular.

"Hey, Steve, did you see when I work next?" Soda asked as they sped towards the middle school.

"Not till tomorrow, three o'clock," Steve told him.

"I _can_ just walk home tomorrow," Pony said as he sat back, fiddling with the cigarette.

"Yeah, but Darry will worry," Soda said. "Two-Bit, what are you doing tomorrow after school?"

"I can walk the kid home," Two-Bit said. They were pulling into the school parking lot.

Ponyboy scowled and opened the door before Steve came to a complete stop. Then he seemed to remember the cigarette.

"Johnny, got a light?" Pony asked, obviously knowing that Soda wouldn't. Johnny leaned over and lit his cigarette for him.

"Have a good day at school, sweetheart!" Two-Bit called in a high pitched voice as Pony slammed the door shut. "Don't talk to strangers! Make good choices!"

Ponyboy gave him a dirty look before heading off towards the school.

"Hey, go easy on him, okay?" Soda said as they took off again, this time heading for the high school. Soda slid over to take Pony's seat. He had caught a glimpse of Ponyboy's face as he turned, and he knew that Two-Bit's mother impression really had bothered him. Of course Two-Bit hadn't noticed. "He's taken everything really hard lately."

"Kid still having nightmares?" Two-Bit asked curiously, tapping his pack of Kools on his leg absently.

"Yeah, seems like every time he goes to sleep he has one," Soda confirmed.

"Isn't he a little old for that?" Steve asked as he casually ran a red light.

Sodapop shrugged. "Darry said that too," he said. "But they only started after the… after the funeral. Hopefully it'll get better with time."

The car fell silent. Sodapop leaned back heavily against the seat and turned his head to stare out the window. He knew everyone in the car was now thinking of his parents. They had been surrogate parents to the entire gang. He could remember his mom cleaning Johnny up after his own dad had beaten him and imploring him to stay the night. He could remember his dad listening to Steve rant and rave for hours about his own father. Two-Bit's mother would frequent the house to talk with their parents about how to make ends meet after her husband ran off. Their dad had even picked Dally up from jail once. Darry, Sodapop, and Ponyboy had lost a lot the day their parents died, but Soda understood that the rest of the gang had lost something too.

"Well, let's go get educated." It was Two-Bit who finally broke the silence. Steve had pulled into the parking lot of the school and shut off the engine. Soda had hardly noticed. He felt heavy as he got out of the car. This was not where he wanted to be.

They all hung out on the front steps of the school, Two-Bit and Johnny both smoking and Soda and Steve joking around and whistling at cute girls who walked by, gaining a lot of glares from Socs. Some days Steve would smoke too if he had a bad night at his house. It was what they did every day before school and Soda liked how routine it felt, like nothing had changed. Finally they bell rang and they were forced to troop inside.

Soda walked into his first class late for no reason other than he didn't really care to be there. For once the teacher didn't say anything, and he assumed it was because she knew why he had been absent for a week and a half. He sat in the back and tapped his feet through the entire lesson, hardly paying attention. He was already behind and just couldn't grasp what the teacher was talking about. He figured it was going to be this way in all his classes and that thought made him want to crawl the walls.

He had second period with Steve, which made it a little more bearable, even if they did get scolded for throwing paper wads at each other and flicking paper footballs at the back of Socs' heads. There weren't many Socs in their classes since they were in the "dumb" classes, as Soda referred to them. It was nice to feel like the hoods outnumbered the Socs for once. He couldn't imagine how Ponyboy could stand being in the A classes with all the Socs.

The day continued to pass. Soda enjoyed gym class where he actually got to move around instead of being stuck at a desk. He met up with Steve, Two-Bit and Johnny at lunch time and they drove to a nearby gas station. This was the one time they all got to be together during the day. Two-Bit was a junior for the second time, Soda and Steve were both sophomores, and although Johnny was the same age as them he was only a freshmen since he had been held back a year back in grade school.

Lunch passed for too quickly for Soda's taste and soon they were walking through the parking lot, heading back toward the school that was starting to look more and more like a prison.

"You better watch yourself, Grease!"

Sodapop cocked an eyebrow as a Soc, backed up by five of his friends, yelled at them as they climbed the stairs.

"What's it to ya," Steve growled back.

The group of Socs approached and the leader, a tall, brown-headed boy walked right up to them. He towered over Sodapop and looked like he was probably a senior.

"You whistled at my girl this morning," he snarled. "Best stick with your own kind, Greaser."

"Why, she like it?" Soda countered easily.

The Soc reached out and shoved Soda hard in the chest. "You gonna start something?" Soda gave him a dangerous smile.

"Hey, you came over here, man," Two-Bit reminded him, blowing smoke in his direction.

But Soda hardly heard him. He swung hard, his fist connecting solidly with the Soc's jaw, sending him sprawling backwards into the rest of his group.

"Don't touch me," he said in a low voice.

The Soc swore loudly as he scrambled to retaliate. Before they knew it the two of them were slugging it out right there on the steps of the school. Soda was only vaguely aware of the rest of the gang shoving the other Socs away, keeping it a fair fight. The older Soc got a few good hits in, causing Soda to stumble slightly as one foot slipped off the step, but Soda just kept swinging, feeling the tension in his chest release for the first time in nine days. Then someone was yelling, but he didn't care, he didn't even pause as the Soc tried to back up. Instead he managed to land a punch right in the middle of the Soc's face. Suddenly someone grabbed him and pulled him back.

"What's the meaning of this?"

Soda blinked, panting slightly and taking in the scene. His math teacher, Mr. Thomas, had apparently been coming back from lunch and had seen the fight. Steve had pulled him back as the teacher ran over. He looked at the Soc, seeing his nose gushing blood all over his white Madras shirt.

"Curtis, principal's office, now!" Mr. Thomas snapped. "Fighting on school property." He shook his head.

"Sir, it takes two to fight," Two-Bit pointed out, all of the Greasers glaring at the Socs.

"I saw Mr. Curtis throw the first punch," Mr. Thomas said matter-of-factly. "Now march. Mr. Mueller, you may go to the nurse's office. The rest of you, back to class."

Soda groaned. Of course he was the only one who would get in trouble. Mr. Thomas walked him all the way to the principal's office, looking at little proud of himself like he had actually stopped the fight. But Soda knew that it wasn't over.

He sat quietly on a hard chair in the office as Mr. Thomas went in to talk with the principal to explain what happened. As he exited he motioned for Soda to go in. Soda sighed to himself as he trudged in and sat in front of the principal's desk. Mr. Myers looked at him sternly.

"Mr. Thomas has informed me that you were fighting in front of the school," Mr. Myers said stiffly.

Soda crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. "Can't really argue with that," he said simply. The side of his face stung and it felt like there was a bruise forming around his cheekbone.

The principal shuffled some papers in front of him. "Mr. Curtis, correct?" Soda just nodded. Mr. Myers sighed. "I understand that you have been through a very traumatic event. However that is no excuse to start looking for trouble."

"I wasn't looking for trouble," Soda tried. "They started it."

"Mr. Thomas said that he saw you throw the first punch," Mr. Myers said. Soda rolled his eyes and sighed. He knew he looked the part of the hood. The Greasers were never given the benefit of the doubt. "I see that your older brother is now your legal guardian." Soda stiffened, sitting up at the mention of this. "If he isn't a fit guardian…"

"He is," Soda snapped. He couldn't believe he hadn't thought of that. Of course the principal wouldn't like him living with his nineteen year old brother. Of course he would try and bring this back to be Darry's fault because in his eyes Soda would be better off in a boy's home. _'I can only be legal guardian for both of you as long as they keep approving us. Which means we have to keep the house in order and you both need to stay out of trouble.' _Darry's words echoed in his head. And here he was - day one back in school - already in trouble. "I just lost my head for a moment. It won't happen again, sir." Soda tried to sound as respectful as possible.

Mr. Myers nodded slightly. "Make sure that it doesn't," he said. "You may go back to class now. Don't forget to get a pass from the secretary."

Soda was up before he had even finished speaking. He bounced on the balls of his feet as he waited impatiently for the secretary to write out a pass back to class. He couldn't wait to get as far away from there as possible.

He took the longest route possible to get back to class. He contemplated just ditching out on the rest of the day, but knew that would just cause him more trouble. He was lost in thought the entire time.

The rest of the day passed quickly. He was relieved to get to auto mechanics class, where he could actually work with his hands and didn't feel miles behind the rest of the class. Finally the last bell rang and everyone flooded out of the high school and into the parking lot. Soda headed right for Steve's car. Two-Bit was already there, sitting on the fender, smoking a cigarette.

"Hand it over," Soda said, holding out a hand. Two-Bit didn't have to ask what he meant as he handed over a cigarette.

"Rough day?" Two-Bit asked as he handed Soda his lighter. Soda didn't answer as he lit up. "You Curtis boys are gonna use up all my cancer sticks at this rate."

Soda breathed deep. "Yeah, probably gonna have to get Ponyboy his own pack soon," he said, sitting next to Two-Bit. "Looks like he's gonna be a smoker now."

As he looked across the parking lot searching for Steve and Johnny in the crowd, Soda suddenly spotted the group of Socs from lunch time. They were standing close together, occasionally glancing over to where Soda and Two-Bit sat.

"I see you spotted your new friends," Two-Bit said lightly.

"Do me a favor," Soda said, taking a drag and staring hard at the Socs, making them all look uncomfortable. "Don't let me do that on school property again."

"The principal give you a hard time?" Two-Bit asked. Soda nodded. "Man, I thought given the circumstances he'd go easy on you."

"He doesn't think Darry is a fit guardian," Soda said flatly.

Two-Bit swore loudly. "He said that?" he said, surprised.

"Not exactly," Soda admitted. "But he hinted at it pretty good." Two-Bit let out another string of swear words loud enough for a group of passing girls to hear and they all shot him dirty looks as they hurried by. "I gotta stay out of trouble, or me and Pony could get thrown in a boy's home somewhere."

"Or you gotta at least not get caught," Two-Bit said. Soda smiled.

Steve finally showed up with Johnny in tow. "Bad day?" Steve asked, eyeing the cigarette in Soda's hand.

"Let's just go," he said flatly, tossing the butt down and stepping on it. He couldn't wait to get away from this school.


	6. Soda's Mystery Dinner

**Author's Note: Once again, thank you all for your wonderful reviews! And if you like this story, you should check out a one shot that I wrote on a whim yesterday called Savior that takes place after the events in the book. I've got some good ideas for that story line and will probably be turning it into a multi-chapter piece after I get farther along with this story. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders**

XxXxXx

_Chapter Six: Soda's Mystery Dinner_

The Greasers all piled in the car in the high school parking lot - Soda in the front this time with Two-Bit and Johnny in the back - and headed for a nearby gas station. They had some time to kill before Pony got out of school. Two-But managed to swipe a few Pepsis from the store and they all hung around the car, goofing around and smoking. Finally they got back in the car and headed for the middle school.

The parking lot of the middle school was crowded with parents picking up their kids. Soda felt a twinge in his stomach watching the scene.

"Please, no parent jokes," Soda said, turning around in his seat and looking pointedly at Two-Bit who held up his hands defensively. He knew Two-Bit had no filter and tended to forget things that should be off limits. And he knew Ponyboy would already be upset that it wasn't their mother picking him up from school today… or ever again.

"He is coming, right?" Steve said impatiently, searching the crowd of kids. "I got work at four today."

Soda felt nervous as he watched the crowd starting to thin out and there still wasn't any sign of Ponyboy.

"I'll go look," Soda said, getting out of the car. He walked up the stream of kids and into the school. It didn't take him long to see Ponyboy walking through the hallway with a concerned looking teacher. When Ponyboy spotted him he quickly told the teacher that he had to go and hurried over.

"Sorry," he mumbled and they headed back out of the school.

"What was that about?" Soda asked.

"Nothing," Ponyboy said unconvincingly, his head down and his shoulders hunched. Then he glanced up at Soda. "What happened to your face?"

Soda lightly touched the tender spot on his cheek where there was most likely a bruise. "I'll tell you later," he said as they approached Steve's car. Ponyboy slid in the backseat with Two-Bit and Johnny while Soda got back in the front. Steve hit the gas hard as they sped off.

"You can come over for dinner later if you want," Soda said as they dropped Johnny off at his house. The house was dark and he knew they were all hoping it was empty.

"Sure, sounds okay," Johnny said, trying to hide how relieved he sounded.

They took off again and stopped at the Curtis house next. Soda and Pony both climbed out and Steve honked a goodbye as they headed inside. Their own house was dark and quiet as well. Soda immediately flipped on some lights. He didn't like how quiet it was. It never used to be this quiet at their house.

"So what happened?" Ponyboy asked, obviously not liking the quiet either.

Soda flipped on the TV for some background noise. "Got into a fight with a Soc at lunchtime," Soda said easily. "Apparently they get a little edgy when you punch them in the face. Who knew?" He laughed. Ponyboy strained to smile and Soda knew something was wrong. "How was your day?" he asked.

"It was okay," Pony said as he sat down on the couch. "I'm a little behind on homework."

Soda held back a snort, thinking of his own homework. "What were you talking to that teacher about?" he asked.

Ponyboy sighed. "That was the school counselor," he said slowly. That got Soda's attention. "Um… I guess my teacher was concerned about me."

"Concerned about what?" Soda asked, raising his eyebrows. Ponyboy pointed at the band aids on his head that covered the cut he had gotten when he had fallen off the couch. "That cut?" Soda said, still not comprehending.

"She thought… she was concerned…" Ponyboy started, fidgeting uncomfortably. "She thought maybe Darry did it."

Soda's eyes widened in shock. "Glory halleluiah," he exclaimed. "Well you told them that he didn't, right?"

Ponyboy nodded vigorously. "Of course I did," he said quickly. "I told them that Darry would never do something like that." He paused. "I dunno if she believed me though…"

Soda sighed and then fell on the couch next to Ponyboy. "Guess that whole staying out of trouble thing is gonna be a little more difficult than I thought," he admitted. They sat in silence for several minutes. "You got some homework to do, Pony?"

"Yeah," Ponyboy admitted.

"Why don't you start on it," he said, getting up from the couch. "Darry said he was gonna be late tonight so I'll start on some dinner."

"Why is he gonna be late?" Ponyboy asked as he gathered up his books.

"He was lookin' into gettin' a second job," Soda said. "He didn't tell you that?"

"No…" Ponyboy said slowly, looking troubled. "Don't you have homework too?"

"I'll get to it," Soda said dismissively. In truth, he had no plans to do any homework tonight.

Soda wandered into the kitchen as Ponyboy headed to his room to work on his homework. Soda aimlessly went through the cabinets, not looking for anything in particular. He still had hours until Darry got home but with Steve at work and the rest of the Greasers still wary about coming over to their house as much he didn't have much else to occupy himself. He was opening some of the drawers when something strange caught his eye. One of the drawers held a bunch of papers. Out of curiosity he pulled out a handful of papers and started leafing through them. Suddenly he realized what they were: old bills and financial documents.

Soda was just about to put them back when Darry's handwriting caught his eye. He pulled out a piece of notebook paper that had numbers and math problems. Out of all the subjects in school, math was Soda's worst. But still, he was curious. Clearly Darry was trying to figure out how to make ends meet without their parents. Soda sat down at the table and started reading through the numbers, trying to make some kind of sense of it.

An hour later Soda still wasn't having much luck making heads or tails of the numbers that Darry was working with. He felt frustrated. He stood up, sighing in defeat. One thing he did know was that both their parents had worked, and although their father only had one job he worked at it at least sixty hours a week. He also knew that their father's job paid more than any job that Darry could get right off the bat. He didn't know how Darry was supposed to fill the void of both of their parents' paychecks all on his own.

He started cooking, throwing some random ingredients into a casserole dish, feeling distracted. He knew that Darry wanted him to keep going to school. He didn't see the big deal about school but he understood that Darry did. Darry wanted him to stay in school and eventually graduate just like he did. Soda rolled his eyes to himself at the thought. It would be a miracle if he managed to pass this year anyway.

"What are you making?" Ponyboy asked, coming into the kitchen.

"Not really sure," Soda said smiling. He indicated the stove where whatever he had made was baking. "Possibly a casserole of some sort. It's in a casserole dish anyway."

Pony laughed. "Sounds interesting."

"Well, it definitely won't be boring," he said. "You gettin' hungry?"

"Yeah, a bit," Pony admitted.

He glanced up at the clock. "Darry should be home soon," he said. "He finished work an hour ago. You can start before he gets back if you want."

"No, I'll wait," Pony said, sitting down at the kitchen table. He looked down at the papers still sitting there. "What are these?"

"Oh, just some financial papers," Soda said shortly. "Darry must have been going through them." He wasn't real sure why he didn't just tell Ponyboy that he had been going through them. He knew how upset Darry had gotten about the thought of him dropping out. He imagined Ponyboy might have a similar reaction. "Why don't you set the table?" Soda started gathering up the papers and shoved them back into their drawer.

As Soda took the mystery dinner out of the oven, Pony hovering next to him making faces at the odd concoction, he heard the door open and slam back shut.

"Hey, how was work?" Soda asked as Darry came into the kitchen.

"Long," Darry said tiredly. "Got a phone call at work today." He sat down heavily at the table and looked at his two younger brothers. "From your principal."

Soda looked at him, unsure if Darry was looking at him or Ponyboy. He shared a glance with Pony and realized that his younger brother was thinking the same thing. "Uh… which one?" Soda asked slowly. "Mine or his?"

Darry gave him a strange look. "Yours," he said. "Why, should I have heard from Pony's too?"

"Not necessarily…" Soda said slowly, looking a little guilty and shooting Pony an apologetic look.

"Well, I know what happened with him today, what happened with you?" Darry asked Ponyboy, sounding tense.

"It wasn't a big deal," Pony said as he sat down at the table across from Darry. Soda put the casserole dish down in the middle of the table then sat down between them. "I just had to talk to the school counselor."

"Why?" Darry asked.

Ponyboy sighed. "My teacher was concerned about the band aids," he said. "She thought… she thought maybe you hit me."

Darry sighed. "Great," he muttered, rubbing his forehead.

"I told them you didn't though," Pony said quickly.

"Yeah, but if you keep showing up at school with injuries like that, they might start to doubt that," Darry said.

"It wasn't like it was my fault," Pony mumbled, looking down at his plate.

"Well, it's all uphill from here, right?" Soda said lightly with a smile.

Just then they heard the front door opened again. "Anyone here?"

"In here, Johnny!" Soda called. "Just in time. You hungry?"

"Yeah, I could eat," Johnny said as he walked into the kitchen.

Soda looked up at him from spooning out dinner and gave a start. "Jesus, Johnny, what happened?"

When they had dropped Johnny off at his house only a few hours before he had been perfectly unharmed. Now his left eye was swollen to the point where it looked like he could barely see out of it and there was a massive bruise radiating out over his cheekbone.

"Oh, it's nothing," Johnny mumbled as he took a seat between Ponyboy and Darry, looking down and not meeting anyone's eyes.

For a moment no one moved, and then Soda remembered himself and went and grabbed Johnny a plate from the cabinet.

"Hey, Johnny, let me see," Darry said gently. Johnny reluctantly looked up and Darry reached over and as carefully as he could he lifted Johnny's eyelid to get a look at his eye. Johnny didn't even wince. "Doesn't look like your eye is damaged at all," he said.

"It's fine," Johnny insisted.

"Why didn't you come over sooner?" Ponyboy asked, looking distressed.

Johnny shrugged. "I didn't want to bother you guys."

"Johnny, you come over here any time you like," Darry said firmly. He finally took a good look at what was on his plate. "Soda, what the hell is this?"

"No idea," Soda said with a grin. "I was waiting for one of you guinea pigs to try it first."

Johnny smiled. "I'll try it, man," he said.

"See, Johnny is brave!" Soda said, grinning broadly as the tension in the room began to deflate.

Johnny took a big mouthful. He chewed for a moment while everyone watched. Then he smiled. "Not bad," he said.

Everyone laughed and the mood immediately lightened. All the rest of their cares just evaporated as they ate and discussed Soda's strange meal. After dinner Johnny helped Ponyboy clean up while Darry and Soda went out into the living room.

"So what about your day?" Darry asked as he sat in the recliner. "You got quite a shiner there."

"Yeah, that was an oops," Soda admitted. "I lost my temper with some Socs. I guess I was edgy from being stuck in classrooms all morning. I'm miles behind; I dunno if I'll ever catch up."

"You gotta work at it Soda," Darry said, sounding tired.

Soda just sighed. He didn't want to cause Darry any more stress right now. Instead he decided to just change the subject.

"How did things go after work today?" Soda asked.

"Good," Darry said. "I got a second roofing job."

"So how much will you be working now?" Soda asked.

"Probably at least thirty hours at each," Darry said.

"Sixty hours a week…" Soda said.

"See, you can do math," Darry said with a laugh.

Soda smiled, but it was a sad smile. He didn't like thinking of Darry working himself to death at nineteen years old. He hoped after just a few weeks Darry would realize that he can't do it all on his own. Heck, their dad hadn't even been able to do it all on his own. He had help from their mother working at a local diner during the day.

Darry insisted that Johnny stay the night. After he finished making another chocolate cake, Soda called Steve to let him know to pick Johnny up at their house in the morning instead of his own as Johnny went to crash on the couch. He could hear shouting in the background and told Steve that he was welcome to come over as well.

"We should probably just leave the door unlocked," Darry said as Soda told him Steve may show up as well. "It's not like we have anything worth takin', and I'd rather have the guys crashing here rather than getting beat on or losing it and knocking over a liquor store."

Soda climbed in bed with Ponyboy again that night.

"I think Darry likes you better," Ponyboy mumbled as Soda shut the light off.

Soda looked at him strangely, thinking the comment came out of nowhere. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"He got all mad at me for having to talk to the counselor today," Pony said. "Even though it was _your_ principal he got a call from at work."

"He lectured me too while you and Johnny were cleaning up," Soda said. It wasn't really true, but Darry had at least mentioned it.

"Oh," was all Ponyboy said.

"Darry was just stressed about someone thinking he could ever hit one of his brothers," Soda said dismissively, rolling over. "'Night, Pony."

"'Night, Soda…."


	7. The Painful Memory

**Author's Note: Once again, thanks for all the wonderful reviews! :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders**

XxXxXx

_Chapter Seven: The Painful Memory_

It was around two in the morning when Soda stumbled out of bed, having to use the bathroom. His eyes never fully opened as he trudged down the hall and he didn't even bother turning on the light in the bathroom. He hardly remembered to flush as he wandered back into the hallway. He was already dozing back off as he walked and he wasn't thinking clearly. Instead of returning to Pony's room he wandered back into his own familiar bedroom.

It was a little under an hour later when Soda was abruptly woken up by Pony's screaming in the next room. He looked around, a bit confused for a moment, and then cursed loudly as he suddenly realized what he had done. He shoved himself out of bed and raced into Pony's room at a sprint.

"Pony!" Soda said as he threw open the door. Pony was sitting bolt upright in bed, his knees pulled up to his chest and shaking like a leaf. "It's okay Pony." He climbed into bed and wrapped his arms around his little brother. "I'm here, it's okay."

"Pony?" Soda turned to see Darry stumbling into the room, still blinking sleepily.

"Where were you?" Pony whimpered, looking up at Soda with tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Pony, I got confused," Soda said regretfully, rubbing his brother's back comfortingly. "I got up to go to the bathroom and forgot I was staying with you tonight."

"What's going on?" came a soft voice. Soda had almost forgotten that Johnny had been sleeping on their couch. He appeared in the doorway behind Darry, peering in nervously.

"Sorry, Johnny," Darry said. "Pony just had a nightmare."

Pony buried his face in Soda's shoulder, clearly embarrassed that Johnny was there to witness this.

"He's okay," Soda assured Johnny. "You can go back to bed."

Johnny nodded, though he didn't seem too sure. He turned and disappeared back in the direction of the living room. Darry walked more fully in the room, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Sorry," Pony mumbled into Soda's shirt.

Soda laughed lightly. "Hey, I'm the sorry one, Pony," he said. "I shoulda been here."

"You okay now, kiddo?" Darry asked, rubbing the back of Pony's head.

Pony sat back and wiped the excess tears from his eyes. "Yeah, I'm okay," he said.

"Okay, you two got school in the morning," Darry said, getting up. "Try and get some sleep."

"Did you have to mention school," Soda said with a grin. "We were having such a pleasant night." Darry just rolled his eyes as he flicked the light back off and closed the door behind him. Soda lay back, but Pony hadn't moved. "C'mon, Pony, you must be exhausted."

"I don't want to sleep anymore," Pony said stubbornly.

"You can't just not sleep, you know that," Soda said, yawning. He reached up and tugged on Pony's shirt. "C'mere. I promise I ain't gonna leave you again."

Pony reluctantly lay back down next to Soda.

"Mom and dad weren't supposed to leave…" Pony whispered, his voice trembling slightly.

Soda was silent, feeling his stomach drop. They had been doing so well with pretending everything was okay for days now. Suddenly it all came rushing back that it wasn't okay. Things would never really be okay again. They could pretend. They could try to forget. But it would always be there, lying right below the surface. Their parents were gone.

"No, they weren't…" Soda finally said quietly.

"It's not fair," Pony sniffed. "Why…"

"I know, baby," Soda said as he pulled Pony in close. He felt tears spilling down his own cheeks as his carefully built walls suddenly collapsed and it all came rushing back to him.

_It had been very late at night. Darry had been out with some of his old school friends. Soda and Pony were both home, their parents had told them they had to stay in and work on their homework that night. Soda remembered staring at his math textbook, feeling no interest at all in trying to figure out any of the equations. He remembered feeling annoyed that his father had told him that he couldn't go out with Steve that night. _

_There had been a knock at the door. Soda suddenly realized just how late it was, and found it odd that their parents hadn't returned from their anniversary dinner yet. He had debated not answering the door at all. After all, no one he knew would be knocking at their door anyway, they would just walk in. It had been was Pony who had walked through the living room and opened that door._

"_Son, is anyone else home with you?"_

_Soda had been sitting in the kitchen, but he still heard the words very clearly. Not being able to see who it was at the door, the question had seemed very sinister. Soda had jumped up and ran into the living room, ready to protect his younger brother. He skidded to a stop as he saw two men in police uniform standing in the doorway. He remembered his first thought: _What kind of trouble had Darry gotten into while out with his friends?

"_Our parents aren't here right now," Soda had said, assuming that was who the cops were looking for. _

"_We are looking for the family of Martha and Darrel Curtis," one of the officers had said, focusing on Soda instead of Pony._

_Soda had been confused. He walked forward to stand slightly in front of Pony, discreetly pushing him back a little. He didn't trust cops. "They are our parents," he said slowly. He couldn't imagine that his parents had gotten arrested. He couldn't fathom why the police were looking for their family._

"_Is there any other family you could stay with tonight, son?" the other office had asked._

_Pony had looked up at Soda, looking just as confused as he felt. "What do you mean?" Soda had asked. _

_The first officer sighed. "I'm sorry to have to tell you this," he had said. He really had looked sorry too. "But your parents were in an accident tonight."_

"_Oh," Soda had said. He had sounded worried, but the worst outcome of this statement had still not occurred to him. Looking back, it had been so obvious. Why hadn't he seen it right away? "Are they at the hospital?" He had wondered if they would be able to track Darry down since he had the truck and he didn't want to walk all the way to the hospital this late at night._

"_Son…" the officer continued slowly. "I'm sorry. But your parents were pronounced deceased at the scene." Soda had just stared, not comprehending. He was aware that Pony had made a choking noise and was backing up. "Is there any other family you could stay with tonight?"_

_Slowly Soda shook his head. Their parents had both been only children and their grandparents had all passed away years ago. Reality was slowly starting to seep in to his consciousness. _

"_Our brother will be home soon," he finally said. His voice had sounded strange to himself. Strangled. "He's nineteen."_

_The officer nodded. "You should be contacted by someone from social services sometime tomorrow to address the situation," he said. "I'm very sorry for your loss, boys."_

_Soda had only nodded as the officers turned and started off down the walk. He quietly closed the door and then mechanically turned to look at Pony. He could still remember the look of devastation that had been on Ponyboy's face, tears flowing freely down his cheeks. Soda felt frozen in time, unable to think or move. _

_Finally he snapped himself out of his daze. One thought was clear in his mind: Darry needed to be there. Darry would know what to do. He had to find Darry. _

_He walked to the phone and dialed Steve's number. His mother answered and told him that he was out. Of course he was, Soda had berated himself as he hung up the phone, he had known that. He dialed Two-Bit number, but his mother told him he was out as well and asked if everything was alright. He wasn't sure how he had sounded to her. Against his better judgment he had dialed Buck's number next, feeling desperate. He could hardly hear who he was talking to as he demanded that they look for Dallas, surely Dallas was there tonight._

"_Hello?" Dally had sounded unsteady, but not completely wasted. Soda was relieved. _

"_Dally, it's Soda," Soda had said quickly. "I need your help. Do you have any idea where Darry is tonight?"_

"_Uh, I dunno, man, why?" Dally had slurred. _

"_It's important, he needs to get home right now," Soda had said. _

_Dally had laughed, and had he been standing in front of him Soda was pretty sure he would have hit him right then. "Why, past his bedtime?" he had drawled. _

"_Dallas," Soda said as firmly as he could, though he recalled also sounding desperate. "This is important. Something… something bad happened. Darry doesn't know it yet and we really need him here." _

"_Well, he ain't _here_," Dally had said, sounding a little more serious._

"_I know that!" Soda had practically shouted. That must have gotten Dally's attention. Soda never yelled like that. "I need you to find him. Or at least track down Steve or Two-Bit and have them find him. Please Dally."_

"_Okay, okay," Dally had said finally. "I'll see what I can do."_

"_It's extremely important," Soda had emphasized._

"_Don't worry, I'll get 'em," Dally had said right before he hung up._

_It was another hour before they heard the old pickup truck rumbling into the driveway. Soda and Pony were sitting on the couch. Pony had been crying a lot, but Soda had just felt numb. He had just quietly held his younger brother. He offered up no comfort, just support. He felt a huge wave of relief when Darry had walked in. He had felt selfish. He wanted to be the kid, not the adult. _

"_What happened?" Darry had asked. He had glanced around. "Where are mom and dad?"_

_Soda had finally broken down. He squeezed Pony in tighter and cried hard. It wasn't fair…_

That day was burned into Soda's memory. He would never forget it. He wasn't sure how long it had taken for Pony to finally calm down again. And he wasn't real sure how long it had taken for them to drift back to sleep. But he remembered dreaming about that awful night over and over again. He woke up several times over the next few hours, feeling haunted. He suddenly understood why Pony didn't want to sleep anymore.


	8. Tensions Rise

**Author's Note: This chapter was written kinda quickly late at night, hope you still like it! Please review! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders**

_Chapter Eight: Tensions Rise_

"Soda, c'mon, you gotta get up."

Soda felt heavy. He threw his pillow over his head and just wanted to melt back into unconsciousness. He could feel Pony still laying next to him, obviously not wanting to get up either. By the tone of Darry's voice it seemed like he had been trying to get them up for some time now.

"Time to get up, lazy bums," Darry said. He pulled Soda's pillow away and Soda groaned loudly. "Let's go, let's go."

"Darry…" Soda groaned, blinking against the light in the room. "C'mon, how 'bout a ditch day? It was a long night."

"Not a chance, little buddy," Darry said.

"Can't I just walk over later?" Pony tried, sounding groggy and not fully opening his eyes. "My school doesn't even start till forty minutes after theirs."

"Sorry, kiddo" Darry said. "I don't want you walking over there all by your lonesome. Let's go, Steve should be here in ten."

Soda pushed down and slowly lifted himself up. He had never been very good at getting up for school, but today was especially bad with the dreams from the night before weighing him down. Under Darry's watch he was forced to stumble out of bed and make his way back to his own room to get dressed. By the time he trudged into the living room he could hear Steve's car horn.

"Pony and Johnny are already outside," Darry said, coming out of the kitchen. "Probably having a smoke. Did Pony have a hard time going back to sleep?"

"Mmm, we both did," Soda mumbled, sitting on the floor and pulling on his socks and shoes.

"Did he have another nightmare?" Darry asked.

"No…" Soda said slowly. He rested his arms on his knees and looked up at Darry even as he heard Steve honk again. "It's still so fresh," he said quietly. Darry didn't need to ask what he was talking about. "It's still a struggle. Not just for Pony either."

Darry looked troubled. The two were quiet until they heard the car horn again, more insistent. Soda stood and Darry held out a small stack of toast wrapped in napkins.

"You guys missed breakfast and eggs don't travel well," Darry said as Soda took them. "And remind Two-Bit he's supposed to walk Pony home from school today."

Soda walked out the door, letting it slam behind him. Pony and Johnny were standing next to Steve's car, finishing up their cigarettes. The three of them slid into the backseats as Steve took off.

"Gonna take all day, sleepin' beauties?" Two-Bit joked.

"Sorry, long night," Soda mumbled. He passed over half to toast to Pony. "You eat, Johnny?"

"Yeah, I had your eggs," Johnny said with a light laugh.

Soda smiled. "At least they didn't go to waste." He leaned forward to where Two-Bit sat in the front seat. "Don't forget, you gotta walk Pony home from school today."

"It's not like I need a babysitter," Pony complained.

"It's just safer, Pony," Soda said, sitting back. "What if you get jumped back Socs and you get even more cuts and bruises? What's your school gonna think of that?"

Pony sighed, but had no answer for that. They made it to his school in record time. Soda noticed that Johnny passed him a couple of cigarettes before he got out.

"We're late," Two-Bit complained as they got out of the car in the high school parking lot.

"There's still about eight minutes till the first bell," Steve said as they walked toward the school with Two-Bit quickly lighting up at cigarette.

As they approached the steps Soda noticed that there was a group sitting in their usual spot. It took him a minute to recognize that Soc that he had fought with the day before, though he was having a hard to believing only a day had passed. The Soc from yesterday – the teacher had said his last name was Mueller – had a very swollen nose and a dark black ring around his right eye. He also noticed Steve shift so that when they passed the group – there were seven today instead of just the five from yesterday – he was between Soda and the Soc he had fought.

"What's a matter, Grease?" someone called out.

Soda went to turn, but found Two-Bit pushing him along.

"Not even worth a pause, man," Two-Bit said under his breath as they entered the school.

Soda dozed off during his first two classes, earning a scolding from both teachers. As he passed through the halls on his own between second and third period he was shoved into a wall of lockers and couldn't even tell who had pushed him as he blinked around confused. He was certainly in a daze today.

By the time lunch time came about Soda was starving. That toast had done little to fill him up and he was anxious to get some more food, though he knew he wouldn't be able to afford much at the gas station. He could only hope that they would get a big dinner when he got home after work.

He walked down the steps of the school by himself, seeing that Two-Bit and Johnny were already waiting at Steve's car. He was still tired and didn't even notice the group of Socs walking toward him until they were right on top of him, shoving him back.

"Hey, Greaser, that was a cheap shot you took yesterday," Mueller spat, towering over him once again, backed up by seven other Socs.

"C'mon, you're face already looks like hell, don't make me make it worse," Soda said smoothly. It was a bluff. He knew he couldn't be caught fighting at school again and there were teachers everywhere.

"Oh, I'd like to see you try," Mueller shot back as the rest of the Socs closed in.

"Eight to one, yeah that's real fair," Soda said sarcastically, eyeing them.

"We make the rules, Greaser," Mueller said coldly. "You get no say in what's fair. You are trash."

"And yet I still got your attention," Soda said.

"Hey now, why weren't we invited to this party?" Two-Bit demanded as he pushed his way to stand next to Soda, Johnny right behind him.

Mueller reached out and shoved Soda in the chest. "C'mon, rematch. Right here, right now. Unless you're too scared."

Soda was itching. He wanted nothing more than to fight. But he couldn't throw the first punch and he knew that was what the Socs wanted. They wanted to be able to point the finger at him again. They wanted him to lose his temper. And Soda had to admit it was almost working.

"Soda, c'mon buddy, it's not worth it," Two-Bit said under his breath.

"I ain't afraid," Soda said. "You want a real fight where we won't be interrupted by teachers? Name the time and place."

"You scared to do it right here, right now?" Mueller demanded. "Slimy Greaser." He reached out and made to mess up Soda's carefully greased hair, but he dodged away. Now he was angry, but Two-Bit grabbed him while the Socs laughed. Steve showed up just then, quickly assessing the situation and stepped in between Soda and the Socs.

"C'mon, let's get out of here," Steve said as Two-Bit started leading Soda away from the crowd who pointed and laughed.

"Why'd you have to do that, Two-Bit?" Soda demanded, shaking Two-Bit off as they walked towards Steve's car.

"'Cause, I don't wanna see you thrown in a boys home," Two-Bit said bluntly. "Remember, you told me just yesterday."

"Yeah, yeah," Soda said, knowing perfectly well that Two-Bit had done the right thing. "Guess I lost my head there for a second."

"They just wanted to get you in trouble again," Steve pointed out. "Don't worry, next time we see them off school property you can just let lose."

"Can't wait," Soda said, glaring back at the group as he climbed into the front seat of Steve's car.


	9. Rumble

**Author's Note: Well, another slow day at work, so you guys get another chapter! ;) Fair warning, I didn't get a chance to really proofread this chapter, hopefully there aren't too many errors. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders**

_Chapter Nine: Rumble_

After school the gang drove right over to the middle school and dropped off Two-Bit so he could wait for Pony. Johnny decided that he would walk with Pony as well and left with Two-Bit. Steve had thought ahead and had his DX shirt in the car, but Soda had to run home for his. Steve waited outside with the engine running as Soda ran in and found his shirt laying under his bed.

"Let's go," Soda said, jumping back into Steve's car, his work shirt in his hand. They were cutting it a little close. Plus Soda was actually anxious to get back to work. He missed it. As Steve took off Soda pulled off his t-shirt and shrugged into his DX shirt.

"Welcome back," Steve laughed as he parked around the back of the gas station.

"Finally," Soda said, getting out of the car and leading the way in the back door. They clocked in, relieving two of their coworkers, and then headed out to the garage where the cars were.

They had the radio blasting as they worked. Steve was definitely better with cars than Soda, but Soda was still very good. There was a very light atmosphere in the garage as they worked, taking frequent breaks when a good song came on the radio and they would sing and dance around the garage, mimicking Elvis. Soda felt like he was in a genuinely good mood for the first time in the past ten dark days.

There was a honk from outside, indicating someone wanting a fill up. Soda slid out from under the car he was working on and did a backwards summersault before popping up. He walked out to see Buck Merril's car with Buck and Dally standing beside it.

"Hey Dally," Soda said as he approached. "Buck."

"I'm going inside to get some smokes," Buck grunted as he walked away.

"Remember, no thieving on our watch!" Soda reminded him as he started filling up his car. It was a rule among the Greasers and their friends that they couldn't steal from the DX while one of them was working since it was a good way for one of them to get fired.

"He's got plenty of money anyway," Dally said, pulling out his own pack of cigarettes and leaning against a pump. "Just won a big race." Dally looked bitter and Soda suspected that Buck had bet against him.

"Hey, don't light up here, you'll blow the whole place up," Soda said.

"I ain't stupid!" Dally spat. He just held the unlit cigarette in his lips. "Hey, I heard you got into it with some Socs yesterday."

"Yeah, where'd you hear that?" Soda asked.

Dally just shrugged. "Around," he said vaguely. "They're gonna be lookin' for you, you know."

"Gosh, I sure hope so!" Soda said with a grin.

"Listen, what time do you get off?" Dally asked.

"Not till nine," Soda said as he finished up with Bucks car, replacing the hose on the pump.

"Why don't you and Steve swing by the Dingo after work," Dally said. "I bet you could find some action there. Those Socs are lookin' for trouble."

The offer was too tempting to pass up. "Sounds like a plan to me," Soda said, smiling. He knew that Dally would be there too. There was no way Dally would miss out on a fight. "You should bring Two-Bit too. Make a little rumble out of it."

Dally grinned a dangerous smile. "I like the way you think, Soda."

Buck came out just then and paid Soda for the gas, no tip. Soda waved at them as he headed back to the garage.

"That was Dally," Soda told Steve. "You up for hunting a little action after work tonight?"

"What kinda action?" Steve asked.

"I was thinking a little meaningless violence," Soda said with a grin.

"I'm in," Steve said immediately.

The rest of their shift dragged on as Soda anxiously awaited nine o'clock to come around. They clocked out right on time and decided to walk over to the Dingo. It was more of a Greaser hang out than a Soc hang out, but the Socs liked to go over in order to feel dangerous. They quickly spotted Two-Bit and Dally, leaning up against Two-Bit's car and smoking.

"Fancy seeing you boys here," Two-Bit said loudly as they approached, obviously half crocked already. "We were just admiring your new friends over there." He nodded across the parking lot at where a group of Socs were gathered. Soda immediately spotted the boy who had harassed him at school and could hear his friends calling him Rick.

"Well, it'd be rude not to say hello," Soda said with a smile. He wanted to look tough so he borrowed a cigarette from Steve and lit up as the four of them walked over. "Ricky!" As Rick spun around Soda sucker punched him in the face, sending him sprawling backwards.

The rest was a blur. Punches were flying and with Rick down it was four Greasers taking on five Socs. Soda did his best trying to avoid any blows to the face, not wanting a situation at school like Pony had had. He took a hard shot to the stomach, knocking him down to his knees, but he lunged forward, taking out the Soc's legs. He whipped around and gave the Soc a few good slugs in the face for good measure, before moving to help Dally who, as usual, was taking on two at once.

Soda wasn't aware of anything going on outside of the fight, so it was a good thing Steve seemed to be paying attention. Suddenly he grabbed Soda and started pushing him away from the fight.

"Soda, it's the cops, run!" Steve hissed.

Soda didn't pause even for a moment. He took off at a dead run as he registered the wailing of sirens in his ears. He realized he was running in the wrong direction to get home, but didn't slow down, trying to put as much distance between him and the cops as possible.

Soda was in shape, but he had never been a runner like his brother Pony. As he reached the park he was winded, gasping for breath. He slowed down to a walk as he circled around to head more in the direction of his house, glancing around to make sure no one was coming after him. Soda had no idea what time it was and realized he probably should have let Darry know that he wasn't coming right home after work.

He stumbled in the front door, still gasping to catch his breath. He immediately fell onto the couch, hardly noticing Darry sitting in his recliner.

"Where the hell have you been?" Darry asked. He didn't sound angry, just tired.

"Went to settle a score after work," Soda said, looking up at Darry.

"Busted your knuckles up a bit," Darry observed. Soda looked down, seeing the blood covering his right hand for the first time. "Make sure you keep that covered up at school."

"Yeah," he said, sitting up and looking over at Darry. "You okay?"

"Just tired," Darry said as he rubbed his shoulder. "I think I pulled something in my back this afternoon." He pushed himself out of his chair and headed for the kitchen. "Go get cleaned up. I saved you some dinner."

Soda obediently got up as headed for the bathroom, realizing how hungry he was and glad that Darry had thought to save some food for him. He cleaned up his hand and was glad to see that his face was unscarred. All the rest of the injuries would be easy to hide at school. He pulled out the first aid kit and cleaned and wrapped his hand before heading back to the kitchen. Darry had laid out a bowl of stew for Soda at the table.

"Sorry, I didn't have much energy to make anything else," Darry said, sitting heavily in the chair across from Soda.

"This is fine," Soda assured him, now feeling guilty for not being home earlier, though he knew that even if he had come right home after work it still would have been too late to help with dinner. He hungrily wolfed down ever last bit of the stew. "Where's Pony?"

"I sent him to bed, it's already after ten," Darry said.

"Sorry for keeping you up," Soda said, realizing how tired Darry must be as well. "I'll clean up, you go on."

"Yeah, okay," Darry said with a yawn. Soda watched him go as he finished up his meal, and then went to get seconds off the stove. After he finished he quickly cleaned up the kitchen, feeling the tiredness of the long day finally catching up to him as his adrenaline wore off. He got ready for bed before knocking softly on Ponyboy's door.

"Hey, Soda," came Pony's voice.

"Not sleeping yet, Pony?" Soda asked as he closed the door behind him.

"Not yet," Pony said, scooting over to make room as Soda crawled into bed next to him. Soda suspected that Pony had been waiting for him. "Where were you?"

"I went to fight some Socs after work," Soda said casually as he yawned.

"Really?" Pony asked, sounding impressed. "Man, I wish I coulda been there."

Soda smiled at his younger brother's attitude. He was a tough kid. "Yeah, it was a good fight."

"How many of them were there?" Pony asked.

"Ah, come on, it's late," Soda said good-naturedly. "I'll fill you all in in the morning. Let's get some sleep."

"Yeah, okay," Pony said reluctantly as he rolled over.

Soda sighed. The long day had taken a toll on him. He did not toss and turn tonight. He quickly fell asleep.


	10. The Painful Memory: Darry's Perspective

**Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed! You guys make me happy! I've gotten kinda busy again, but I will still make an effort to update regularly, especially since I get so many nice reviews! Please keep it up! Constructive criticism is always welcome as well. ;)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders. **

_Chapter Ten: The Painful Memory: Darry's Perspective_

_Too early…_ was Darry's only thought as he listened to his alarm go off the next morning. He felt heavy and like he could sleep for a week. He had to constantly remind himself that he couldn't be the kid anymore. He couldn't shut his alarm off and fall back asleep and have mom or dad come get him when they knew he was going to be late. He had to get up. Today was his first day working a double shift, one at each job that he now had.

Several minutes had passed before Darry finally turned the alarm off and forced himself to sit up so he wouldn't accidentally fall back asleep. He rubbed his eyes and stretched, still feeling a dull throb in his back between his shoulder blades from the day before. Finally he stood as he made his way to Pony's bedroom. The last two days had been a struggle trying to get his two younger brothers up for school, so he figured it was better to start early.

He flipped on the light in the room, causing Pony to twitch and moan as he rolled over, trying to get away from the light. Soda was apparently dead to the world.

"Let's go, it's time to get up," Darry said, yawning himself. He shook both of his brothers. "C'mon, you'll miss breakfast again."

This seemed to get a little bit of a reaction from the two, so Darry headed back out of the room. He did a double take as he walked through the living room to get to the kitchen as he spotted a figure sprawled out on the couch. As Darrry approached he recognized it as Steve.

"Hey, Steve, time to get up," Darry said, nudging him.

Darry headed into the kitchen and started on breakfast. Steve stumbled in a minute later, still wearing his jeans and DX shirt from the night before.

"'Morning," he mumbled.

"Hey, how you like your eggs?" Darry asked.

"Scrambled is fine," Steve said.

Darry glanced over at Steve as he fell into a chair at the kitchen table and saw that he was sporting a pretty nasty black eye.

"You're old man didn't do that, did he?" Darry asked slowly. It was bad enough seeing Johnny coming around all black and blue because of his father. Darry knew that Steve didn't get along with his dad either but as far as he knew he had never hit him before.

Steve shook his head. "No, got into a fight with some Socs last night," he said. Darry nodded, realizing that it made sense that if Soda got into a fight it was a safe bet that Steve was there too. "Old man just told me to get out when I tried to go home."

Darry shook his head as he went about making breakfast for four. This was not the first time that Steve's father had kicked him out. He remembered one night last winter Steve had slept at the park in just a t-shirt and jeans and had gotten very sick. After that Soda had insisted that Steve come to their house whenever he was kicked out and their parents had always welcomed him in.

Just then Pony walked in, dressed and with his hair still wet from taking a shower.

"Was Soda up?" Darry asked as he set a plate of hard boiled eggs in front of Pony. He didn't seem surprised at all to see Steve already sitting at the table eating scrambled eggs.

"Yeah, he just got in the shower," Pony said.

"Good," Darry said, setting a plate aside for Soda, glad that this morning was going more smoothly than the last two. He put together a bacon, egg and tomato sandwich for himself, eyeing the clock and realizing that for the first time this week they were early. "Soda probably has a clean shirt you could borrow," Darry told Steve. "Or at least a dirty one that's not your work shirt." He wasn't sure when the last time anyone had done laundry was.

Steve laughed as he wandered out of the kitchen and headed for Soda's room.

"Hey Darry, is there any chocolate cake?" Pony asked.

Darry smiled as he went to the ice box and pulled out the cake Soda had made the other night. He set it down and cut a few pieces, even having some himself. He had to admit, he did love chocolate cake.

"Any nightmares last night, Pony?" Darry asked as Pony dug into his chocolate cake.

Pony was quiet for a moment, thinking hard. It was obvious he was debating what to say. "Not a bad one," he said finally. "I don't think anyway. I woke up pretty quick and didn't wake Soda. Just felt a little shook up."

Darry nodded. "Well don't be afraid to wake either of us if you need to," he said sympathetically. Pony just nodded.

Darry finished up his breakfast and headed back to his room to get changed for work. It was going to be a long day.

"Hey, where'd my last clean shirt go?" Soda asked a few minutes later, coming out of his room clad only in a pair of blue jeans. Darry laughed as he came out of his own room, nodding at the living room where Steve was lounging on the couch.

"Shoulda been a little faster, Soda," Steve called from the living room, wearing Soda's shirt.

"Ah, come on!" Soda said with a laugh.

"Maybe it's time someone did some laundry," Darry pointed out.

"Well, I'm working tonight," Soda said as he headed back to his room, going through a pile of dirty clothes to find one that wasn't too dirty.

"I'm going to be working late too," Darry said. He looked over at Pony, suddenly feeling uneasy about him being by himself tonight.

"I can do the laundry," Pony said easily from the kitchen.

"Thank, Pony," he said. "I should be home by nine tonight."

Pony paused, thinking for a minute. "You're working thirteen hours today?" he said finally, looking surprised.

"Something like that," Darry said, not appreciating knowing the actual number at this point. He walked down to Soda's room where he found his brother sniffing t-shirts. "Hey, Two-Bit's gonna need to pick up Pony again today," he told Soda.

"I'll remind him," Soda said, pulling on a shirt.

"Are you done at nine again tonight?" he asked.

"Um, probably," Soda said, thinking for a minute.

"Can you come right home after work?" he asked. "I don't like Pony being here all by himself and it'll take me longer to get home."

"Sure," Soda said. "He'll be fine though, he's thirteen."

"Yeah, but still," Darry said uneasily. He wanted to do everything he could to make sure nothing happened to his brothers while he was responsible for them. It still killed him that he hadn't been there when his brothers had found out the news about their parents' death. And Soda had wanted to go out that night as well. What would have happened if Pony had been there by himself when the cops had shown up?

"Just relax," Soda said with a smile as he headed back out of the room. "Any breakfast left?"

"As long as Steve didn't eat it on you," Darry smirked as he followed Soda back out to the living room.

"Hurry up, we gotta walk over to my house to get my car and still gotta pick up Two-Bit and Johnny," Steve said impatiently from the couch.

"Where did Pony go?" Darry asked as Soda hurried into the kitchen.

Steve indicated the front door with a nod of his head. "Outside smokin'," he said. "I leant him a cancer stick. Kid really needs his own pack, he's a real weed fiend all of a sudden."

"Damn, I was gonna pick him up at pack from the gas station yesterday, but I forgot," Soda said, standing in the doorway of the kitchen holding his plate of scrambled eggs covered in grape jelly. "Remind me to get a pack tonight."

"I ain't workin' tonight, it's Friday!" Steve said. "I'm taking Evie out."

"Well then, remind me when you drop me off," Soda said, rolling his eyes as he wolfed down his breakfast.

"Ready yet, princess?" Steve asked impatiently.

"We're still early," Soda pointed out, his mouth full, but he hurried all the same. A few minutes later they were heading out the door.

Darry cleaned up from breakfast before heading outside. He got into the truck and started it up, his mind still on the idea of Pony being home by himself after school today. He couldn't help thinking back to the day when everything fell apart.

_Darry had gone out with a bunch of his school friends that night since he didn't have to work in the morning. They had played a few rounds of football until they couldn't see the ball anymore in the fading light. Then they had gone to a diner over near the good part of town. Most of his school friends were middle class so they didn't feel comfortable around his usual hang outs. Darry didn't mind though._

_Darry didn't think much about the time; it wasn't unusual for him to stay out until midnight when he didn't have to work. He was listening to one of his friends talking about the college that he had been accepted to – Darry was hoping to go to college in the fall after he saved up some money – when a very strange sight caught Darry's eye. Dallas Winston stumbled into the diner. This was far from where Dally usually hung out. Dally caught Darry's eye and jerked his head, indicating Darry to come over to him._

"_Be right back," Darry mumbled as he slid out of the booth. He walked up to Dally who was hovering by the door. "What are you doing out here?"_

"_Lookin' for you," Dallas said. "Figured you'd be out this direction."_

"_What do you want?" Darry asked a little impatiently. Dallas was getting some odd look from some of the staff in the diner as well as some of the customers, some of Darry's friends included. _

"_I got a call from Soda," Dally said. "He made me promise to track you down. Said you need to go home."_

_Darry felt confused. "Soda said that?" he asked._

"_Yeah, yeah," Dally said. "Said it was important."_

"_Did he say why?" Darry asked. He had never been called home by one of his brothers before. _

"_Just said something happened," Dally said with a shrug. "Didn't say what. He sounded… weird though."_

"_Weird?" Darry asked. _

"_Shook up," Dally said. He looked up at Darry, meeting his eyes. He was worried. Darry had never seen Dally worried before. "I think you should go check it out."_

_Darry felt uneasy. He couldn't imagine why Soda would call up Dally and sound shook up. He remembered dad telling him that he had to stay in and work on homework that night. What kind of trouble could Soda have gotten into doing that?_

"_Thanks, Dally, I'll head home right now," he assured him._

"_You need a ride?" Dally asked._

"_No, I got the truck," Darry said._

_Dally just nodded as he headed back out the door. Darry went back over to his friends and told them that he had to take off before heading back out to the parking lot._

_The whole way home Darry tried to think up reasons that Soda would want him home so badly. Surely their parents were home by now, they never stayed out late and he knew they both had to work in the morning. He pulled up to the house and found everything seemed quiet. He wasn't quite sure what he had been expecting to see. _

_He walked up the path and up to the door. Inside he found a sight that he won't soon forget. Soda and Pony were both sitting on the couch in the living room. Pony had tears streaking down his face and Soda had his arms around him. Darry's first thought was that Pony was sick or had hurt himself somehow. He was too focused on Pony to really take in Soda's face. If he had, maybe he could have guessed what had happened, rather than making it worse with what he said next._

"_What happened?" Darry had asked. He glanced around and couldn't remember he if had seen their parents' car in the driveway when he walked in. "Where are mom and dad?"_

_The reaction he got to that question shocked him. Pony buried his face in Soda's shoulder and started to cry harder. And even more surprisingly, Soda suddenly started bawling himself. Darry felt frozen in his spot, completely at a loss of what to do. Soda was sixteen years old after all; he couldn't remember the last time he had seen him cry. _

_Suddenly Pony pushed away from Soda and ran from the room. Darry heard his bedroom door slam. Darry took a breath and slowly walked over to the couch and took Pony's seat. He knew that he wasn't going to get any answers from Pony, and he needed to know what was going on._

"_Hey, what happened?" Darry asked again, more gently as he rubbed Soda's back comfortingly. _

_Soda took a deep breath and bit his lip. "The cops came," he finally said quietly. _

"_What for?" Darry asked. Soda was quiet for a long time but Darry was starting to put the pieces together. "Did something happen… to mom and dad?"_

_Soda nodded, his eyes tearing up again. "They were in an accident," he said softly, sounding much younger than he was. "They're…. they're gone…"_

_Darry just stared. What his brother had just said didn't make any sense to him. How could both of their parents be gone, just like that? He had seen them just a few hours before. _

"_Are… are you sure?" Darry said. _

"_That's what they said," Soda said. "That's what the cops said."_

"_What else did they say?" Darry asked urgently._

"_Just that social services would call tomorrow to sort things out," Soda said, staring down at his lap._

"_But what kind of accident were they in?" Darry said, brushing off that last statement. He still couldn't grasp the idea. _

_Soda shook his head. "They didn't say," he said flatly._

_Darry didn't understand how this could happen. He needed more information. He got up and walked into the kitchen without another word. He picked up the phone on the wall in the kitchen and dialed the operator and asked to be connected to the police station._

_Darry was on the phone for a half hour getting the run around before he finally found someone who could actually give him some information. Their parents' car had been hit by a train and was completely totaled. Their parents had died on impact and their remains had been transported directly to the morgue. Their case was given to social services, who should be contacting them tomorrow in order to decide what to do with the two minors that the victims had under their care._

_Darry finally hung up the phone, feeling cold. He stared at the wall, feeling tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. How could this have happened? What had they done to deserve this?_

_Then the last bit of information he had been given finally hit him. Social services would be calling tomorrow to decide what to do with the two minors that were under the victims care. The two minors… meaning Ponyboy and Sodapop. Would they be taken away? They had no other family to take care of them. Would they be sent to an orphanage somewhere? A foster home? Would they all be separated?_

_Darry blinked away his tears. He wouldn't let that happen. He was over eighteen, he was an adult. He would have to keep them all together. No one was going to take his brothers away from him. _

_He walked back into the living room to find that Soda had not moved. _

"_C'mere Soda," Darry said as he walked down the hall. He heard Soda slowly get up from the couch and follow him. He knocked on Pony's door. "Pony?" he called. All he heard was sniffling, so he opened the door and walked in. Pony was laying on his stomach with his head buried in his pillow. He felt his heart breaking to see how much this was affecting both of his brothers. "Hey Pony," Darry said as he pulled Pony up. "C'mere." He wrapped one arm around Pony and pulled Soda in with the other arm. He held both of his brothers close to him. "We're going to get through this," he mumbled. "I promise."_


	11. A Vivid Imagination

**Author's Note: As always, thanks so much everyone for reviewing! Please continue to do so! :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders**

_Chapter Eleven: A Vivid Imagination_

Fourteen days had passed. Exactly two weeks since everything had changed. Ponyboy felt as if he were living in a haze. It had hardly seemed like any time at all had passed at all and yet every day he still had to get out of bed, every day he had to continue living, every day he had to remember.

Both his brothers were working more than they ever had before. Neither of them ever talked to him about money, but he knew they were already struggling to make ends meet. There were a lot of subtle hints around the house: less food in the pantry, his brothers avoiding turning on lights and neglecting to change light bulbs, Darry not bothering to fix a step to the front porch that had caved in. A few days Darry even walked to work, claiming that the house he was working on was nearby even though he left an hour earlier than usual.

Pony's nights were more restless than ever. He felt afraid to go to sleep at night and would lie awake for hours listening to Soda's rhythmic breathing. He didn't wake up screaming again, but Soda did wake him up a few nights claiming that he had been tossing and turning pretty violently. He was grateful that Soda was there with him but felt guilty for waking him up every night.

The night before his doctor's visit Pony had tried to convince Darry that he didn't really need to go to the doctor. This was partly because he felt guilty because he knew the visit was going to cost them money that they didn't really have right now. But it was also because he was afraid of what the doctor would say when he tried to explain how he would wake up in a panic with no memory of what had scared him so badly. Would he just say that he was crazy? That he was losing his mind?

"Really, Darry, they aren't nearly as bad as before," Pony had tried. He couldn't say that they had stopped altogether, because Soda knew they hadn't and he knew that he wouldn't lie to Darry about that.

"I would still feel better if we got you checked out," Darry had said slowly, though Pony could tell that the idea tempted him. He wasn't thrilled about missing out on work, even if he was only a few hours.

"Yeah, but can you really afford to leave work early?" Pony had asked.

Darry looked up at Pony from his recliner. "Don't you worry about that, Pony," he said sounding tired. "I can make up the hours this weekend."

Pony had sighed in defeat.

Pony was more tired than usual in school today after having a particularly restless night. He found that focusing on what the teacher was talking about was a near impossible task. He did his best to hide his yawns and keep his eyes open. The teachers were already paying special attention to him because of his situation. He wished they would understand that Darry wasn't a thug older brother like so many other boys were in their neighborhood. He thought of Tim and Curly Shepherd and couldn't imagine Tim being responsible for his younger brother. Darry was nothing like Tim. Darry had been on his way to college before everything had been derailed. That was more than most boys in their neighborhood ever had.

After school ended Pony hurried outside and immediately spotted Darry's beat up pickup truck sitting in the parking lot. He had to admit that he was glad Darry was picking him up today; he was getting a little tired of meeting Two-Bit after school and enduring his wise cracks about middle school. He couldn't wait until he was in high school with the rest of the gang.

"How was school?" Darry asked as Pony climbed into the passenger's seat of the truck.

"It was fine," Pony said, stifling another yawn.

Darry glanced at him with concern. "You look exhausted," he pointed out as he started to drive.

Pony didn't have a comment for that, so he just stayed quiet and watched the scenery fly by as he stared out the window. At some point he must have nodded off, because suddenly he was aware of Darry shaking him.

"C'mon Pony, we're here," Darry said.

Pony blinked sleepily, seeing the doctor's office coming into focus just beyond the parking lot. He yawned as he opened the door and followed Darry inside. He couldn't believe how much more tired he felt just after that short nap. All he wanted to do was curl up in bed and sleep. As they sat in the waiting room Pony leaned up against Darry's shoulder and dozed, not putting much energy into trying to stay awake. Darry thankfully didn't say anything.

"Ponyboy Curtis?"

Pony heard the name as if listening from a faraway place. He wasn't really asleep but he wasn't really awake either. Darry nudged Pony as he struggled to open his eyes.

"C'mon, Pony," Darry mumbled as he stood up and pulled Pony with him.

Pony followed Darry to the back of the office where a nurse took them into an exam room. She checked his weight, his temperature and his blood pressure as she made notes on his chart. She told them the doctor would be in shortly and left, closing the door behind her.

Pony sat on the exam table swinging his legs and occupying himself by reading the posters on the walls, trying to stay as awake as he could. Then he took a good look at Darry. His brother was sitting in a plastic chair against one wall, drumming his fingers nervously against his legs. Pony couldn't quite figure out what was bothering Darry. Did he suspect there was something really wrong with his youngest brother? Or was it just being in this office? It had been years since Darry had been in the pediatrician's office. Pony came to the realization that Darry really was the adult now. It wouldn't be his mother or father taking him to doctor's appointments anymore, it would be Darry.

Finally there was a knock at the door as the doctor came in.

"Hello, Ponyboy," Dr. Jenkins said with a smile. "Darry."

Dr. Jenkins had been the Curtises pediatrician ever since Darry was born. He was a kindly older man with grey hair and a relaxed smile. Pony imagined that he might have grandkids by now. He was probably getting close to retirement at this point.

"Well, I know it's not time for Ponyboy's checkup yet," Dr. Jenkins said, looking over Pony's chart. "So what can I help you boys with today?"

"Pony's been having these nightmares lately," Darry spoke up as Pony hesitated. "He wakes up screaming and in a panic, but he never remembers what he dreamed about."

"Hm, I see," Dr. Jenkins said, nodding. He looked at Pony. "When did these nightmares start?"

"Um, a little over a week ago," Pony said, his stomach dropping as he recalled the funeral. "I don't wake up screaming _every_ time though," he clarified stubbornly.

"Perhaps Saturday night?" Dr. Jenkins asked.

Pony nodded, vaguely remembering seeing Dr. Jenkins at their parents' funeral on that Saturday. Dr. Jenkins nodded knowingly as he made a few notes on the chart.

"Darry, would you mind waiting outside for a few minutes while I talk with Ponyboy?" he asked.

"Sure," Darry said, looking a little reluctant. He got up and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Pony fidgeted nervously, wondering what the doctor wanted to talk to him about that Darry couldn't be there for. Surely Dr. Jenkins knew them well enough to know that it wasn't Darry's fault that he was having nightmares. He didn't think he could take another interrogation with pointed questions about whether or not his brother was a good guardian.

Dr. Jenkins sat on a tall stool next to the exam table and put the chart aside.

"How have you been doing with everything, Ponyboy?" he asked seriously.

Pony didn't have to ask him what he was talking about. He shrugged. "Okay I guess," he said. He wasn't really sure how he was supposed to be coping with losing both of his parents so suddenly. Should he still be upset? Should he be moving on? Should he still think about them? Should he still be crying at night and missing them so badly that it felt like there was a hole in his chest?

"What you've been through, what happened to your parents, it's just terrible," Dr. Jenkins said, shaking his head and frowning. "Your parents were very good people." Pony nodded, wishing that he would talk about anything else. He could feel tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. The last thing that he wanted to do was start bawling in the doctor's office. "How do you feel about Darry being your legal guardian?"

"I mean, he's really… responsible," Pony said vaguely. He hoped that the doctor wouldn't read too much into his hesitation. He just had a hard time describing Darry.

But Dr. Jenkins didn't seem concerned. "Why don't you tell me about these nightmares you've been having?"

"Not much to tell," Pony said with a shrug. "I really don't remember anything about them." He paused, thinking. "All I know is I wake up feeling… feeling really scared." Darry had taken the time to drive him out here; Pony figured he might as well be as honest as possible.

"Mhm," Dr. Jenkins hummed thoughtfully. "Tell me, Ponyboy, do you still like to read?"

Pony was surprised at the question, it seemed awfully off topic.

"Uh, yeah," Pony said.

"How about drawing? Do you still do any of that?"

"Well, I haven't really recently," Pony said, recalling that he hadn't done much of anything in the past two weeks. "I guess I've just been… distracted."

"Well, Ponyboy, I've always known you to have a very vivid imagination," Dr. Jenkins said. "You have always been the creative one in your family. Perhaps these nightmares are just your imagination acting out since you haven't been using it as much lately." He smiled. "What I suggest is you go to the library and check out as many books as you can. Read and draw more. Go to the movies with your friends. Play football with your brothers. Study hard. By the time you go to bed you should be too tired for any nightmares."

Pony just stared for a moment. It certainly wasn't the solution that he had been expecting. It seemed too simple. But it did make some sense to him.

"Okay," he finally said, sounding surprised.

Dr. Jenkins gave him a warm smile. "Okay, now why don't we switch," he said getting up. "Why don't you wait in the hall for a few minutes while I talk to your brother."

"Uh, sure," Pony said, hopping off the table, unsure of what he wanted to say to Darry. Pony walked out of the room to find Darry leaning against the wall just outside, his hands shoved in his pockets. "He wants to talk to you now," Pony said, nodding back toward the exam room.

Pony fidgeted outside the room for almost ten minutes, wondering what they were talking about. It couldn't be anything bad; the nightmares didn't seem to concern Dr. Jenkins too much. When Darry finally came out of the room he looked relieved, so Pony guessed that the doctor didn't have anything bad to say.

"Well, it sounds like the doc thinks it'll be an easy fix," Darry said as they drove home, sounding a lot more relaxed than he had in a while. "Guess you've got a good excuse to stick your nose back in those books of yours."

Pony laughed lightly. "Yeah, sounds like it," he agreed.

He looked out at the darkening streets as they drove along, feeling his heavy eye lids fighting him again. He sure hoped it would be that simple.


	12. Custody

**Author's Note: Thank you to all my reviewers! You all make me happy. :) Apparently I am all about the flashback chapters these days, haha. Hope you like it! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders.**

XxXxX

_Chapter Twelve: Custody_

On the way home from the doctor's office, Darry stopped at the public library and let Pony go in to check out some books. He waited in the truck. Darry was never much for recreational reading, and Pony figured he wouldn't have much time for that kind of thing these days anyway.

As they pulled up to the house Pony spotted Johnny sitting on the front porch, smoking a cigarette. Darry greeted him as he went straight into the house. Pony sat on the step next to Johnny and pulled out his own pack of cigarettes. Soda had bought them from the gas station days ago and he only had a few left. He felt a little bad because he knew money was tight and they really couldn't afford for him to have a weed addiction. He was even considering asking Two-Bit to lift him a few packs from the store so they wouldn't have to pay. That's how Johnny usually got his cigarettes anyway. That or from Dally.

"How'd it go?" Johnny asked as Pony lit up.

Pony shrugged, taking a drag. "Fine, I guess," he said. "Apparently I just have an overactive imagination."

Johnny just nodded knowingly as they fell into a comfortable silence. Soon Darry was calling them both in for dinner.

"I was thinking about going to visit Soda at the station tonight," Pony said as they finished up dinner. He had meant this comment for Johnny, hoping that he would walk along with him. But it was Darry who responded.

"Not tonight, Pony," Darry said. "You got homework to work on."

"I can do it later," Pony said.

But Darry shook his head. "You got school in the morning, I don't want you up late," he said. "You look exhausted enough as it is."

"Soda will be done at nine," Pony insisted. "Even if my homework takes an hour, I'll still be in bed by ten."

"I said no," Darry said firmly.

Pony stared, a little taken aback. He hadn't even realized that he needed Darry's permission. He felt like Darry was taking this legal guardian thing way too seriously. It wasn't like he or Soda were babies. It wasn't like they really needed anyone to take care of them.

Johnny helped Pony clean up dinner as Darry put aside a plate for when Soda got home. Pony considered complaining more about wanting to go out, but decided that he might as well work on his homework. He did have quite a bit tonight.

Pony sat at his desk in his bedroom, tapping his pencil absent-mindedly on his math textbook as he stared out the window at the fading light, finding it difficult to focus. It hadn't been that long ago that Darry had just been his older brother…

XxXxX

_Pony wasn't sure what time it was, but he knew that it was late in the morning. He was aware that he was supposed to be in school, but he just couldn't bring himself to get out of bed. No one had bothered him all morning and the house was unnaturally quiet. _

_Last night was already starting to seem like a bad dream. None of it really seemed true. Pony sorely wished that he could just believe that he had just imagined the whole thing. But the pain of the situation was too tangible. It really did happen. They had lost both of their parents. One moment everything was fine and in the next their whole world had fallen apart. _

_Fresh tears started spilling down Pony's cheeks. They were silent tears as he had no energy left to really cry anymore. He simply lay limp in his bed, staring at nothing, tears rolling down and hitting his already damp pillow. _

_There was a soft knock at the door, but Pony didn't acknowledge it. He listened to the door creek open behind him and felt his bed dip as someone sat down._

"_Pony?" It was Darry's voice. He felt Darry's hand on his shoulder, shaking him gently. "Hey Pony. You're going to need to get up soon."_

_Pony slowly rolled over to look up at his oldest brother. He couldn't quite read Darry's face and didn't know what he was feeling. He wondered vaguely were Soda was. With a great deal of effort Pony pushed himself into a sitting position. He hadn't slept very much that night and he felt heavy. _

"_Thirsty?" Darry asked, holding out a glass of water._

_Suddenly Pony realized just how thirsty he was. Had all the crying he had done caused him to become dehydrated? He supposed it was a possibility. He gratefully took the glass and drank, finding that the cool water felt good in his overly dry mouth. _

"_Thanks," he croaked. _

"_How are you holding up?" Darry asked. Pony shrugged, having no words to describe how he was feeling. "Listen, kiddo, I just got off the phone with social services." Pony mechanically lifted his head to look up at Darry. "They are sending a social worker over to figure out… figure out what to do with our situation."_

_Pony stared at Darry blankly, slow to comprehend. _

"_Figure out…" Pony said slowly letting the thought hang as his mind was slow to work through what Darry was saying. "Figure out what?" _

"_You and Soda are still minors, Pony," Darry explained. _

_This thought hadn't occurred to Pony. His eyes got wide at the thought of someone coming and taking him away from his home._

"_What's gonna happen?" Pony asked._

_Darry shook his head. "I dunno," he said. "Look, I need you to clean up and get dressed, okay? They will be here soon."_

_Pony nodded vaguely. Darry sent him a dubious look, as if he wasn't quite sure that Pony had understood. But he got up and walked from the room. _

_Pony stared around his bedroom as he finished drinking the glass of water. Would this be his last morning in his own bedroom? Could the state really take him away from his brothers when he had just lost his parents? He needed his brothers and he needed the gang if he was going to have to get through this unbelievable pain of his parents' sudden deaths. He felt panicked. Suddenly he was gasping for breath, his chest tight and his heart racing. The glass he was drinking from slipped from his hand and crashed to the floor. _

"_Pony, you okay?"_

_The voice seemed be coming from very far away. There were black spots clouding his vision as he struggled to get oxygen. This only caused him to panic even more._

"_Breathe, Pony, just breathe."_

_The voice sounded much closer and there was a note of fear in it. Suddenly Pony was enveloped in a warm embraced. He finally recognized Soda's voice as he hushed him and he felt himself being pulled into his brother's chest. He listened to Soda's steady heartbeat as he struggled to control his breathing. He took a couple long, shaky breaths, trying to match the rise and fall of Soda's chest. Slowly his breathing became regular again and his vision cleared._

"_What happened?" came Darry's voice from the doorway. _

"_I think he had a panic attack or somethin'," Soda said. "You okay now, Pony?"_

_Pony just nodded as he pushed himself closer to Soda, wanting to just disappear. _

"_Did you get scared or somethin'?" Darry asked as he walked over to where they sat on Pony's bed. _

"_I don't want to be sent away," Pony mumbled into Soda's shoulder. _

_There was a long pause where nobody spoke. Then Pony felt Darry sit down on his other side._

"_I'm going to do my best to make sure that doesn't happen, Pony," Darry said softly. Pony finally pulled away from Soda so he could turn and look at Darry. Suddenly he looked older than just nineteen. His voice was steady and calming, just like dad's was. "I'm going to try and get custody of you and Soda so we can stay together."_

_Soda gave Pony a reassuring squeeze. "Darry's legally an adult," he said. "We just gotta hope that the social worker goes for it."_

_The idea honestly hadn't crossed Pony's mind. Before this moment he hadn't even thought of Darry as an adult, just his big brother. _

_Pony managed to find the energy to get up and go shower. He stared at himself in the mirror in the bathroom for a long time, his eyes bloodshot and haunted. There wasn't much he could do about that though. He dug out some of his nicer clothes and changed. He felt nervous still, but he had hope that this would work out. Things couldn't possibly get any worse, right? _

_As Pony walked out into the living room, he saw that it looked cleaner than usual. The trash from the fast food dinner Soda and Pony had eaten the night before was gone and Darry and Soda were both wearing nicer clothes as well. They wanted to make a good impression._

_Pony felt awkward and out of place looking around, unsure of what he should do. He asked Soda how he was supposed to act._

"_You don't need to act, Pony," Soda said sympathetically. "Just tell the truth."_

_Finally there was a knock at the door. It was the second knock in the past twelve hours, which was out of the ordinary for their house. Most people they knew just walked right in. At least this time they knew what was coming. _

_"Hi, my name is Deborah Miller, from social services," the woman said as Darry opened the door. She looked younger than Pony had been expecting, maybe late twenties. She was a solid foot shorter than Darry but she smiled up at him in a friendly way. She had dark, curly hair that hung down passed her shoulders and she held a thick stack of folders in her arms. _

"_Darry Curtis," Darry introduced himself with a nod as he stepped aside and indicated for her to enter the house. "These are my brothers, Sodapop and Ponyboy."_

"_Yes, I had to double check those names in my file, very unique," Deborah said as she smiled at the two of them. _

_Pony found that her overly cheerful personality was extremely annoying. Didn't she know that she was walking into a house of kids who had just suddenly lost both of their parents? _

_Deborah made herself comfortable in the recliner as she spread out the files she had brought on the coffee table in front of her, which was completely clean for the first time in weeks. Darry squeezed onto the couch next to Pony, Soda was already sitting on his other side. Pony felt a bit more secure sitting between his two older brothers. He noticed that Darry kept glancing at him with a worried expression._

"_So, first of all, I am very sorry for you loss," Deborah said finally, folding her hands in her lap and allowing her face to take on a more serious expression. "I know that this is an extremely difficult time for you three. We are going to try and take care of this situation in the quickiest and best way that we can. Now," he leaned forward and shifted through some of her papers, "as I understand it, Darry you are currenly nineteen years old. Sodapop is currenly sixteen and Ponyboy is thirteen." Darry and Soda both nodded in confirmation while Pony just stared down at his lap. "Obviously Darry you are old enough to legally take care of yourself. This meeting is just to determine the care for Sodapop and Ponyboy who are both still minors." She flipped through a few more papers. "I see that you don't currently have any other living relatives. Generally what happens in a situation like this is we will place the minors in a boys' home at least temporarily until we can find a foster home."  
_

"_Ma'am, since our parents don't have any other family, that makes me next of kin," Darry finally spoke up. "I would like custody of both of my brothers."_

_Deborah looked up and studied Darry for a moment, looking skeptical. "That is a very big responsibility for a nineteen year old," she said slowly. _

_Darry sat up straighter, staring right at her defiantly. "My brothers mean the world to me," he stated. _

"_You do realize that this would be a five year commitment for you," she said, folding her hands and leaning forward. "You would be responsible for the care of Sodapop for the next two years and for Ponyboy for the next five years until they each turn eighteen."_

"_I understand that," Darry said easily. _

"_Well," Deborah said with a stiff nod as she looked back down at her papers, then back up at Darry. She gave a small smile. "I must say that this is a refreshing attitude, especially in this neighborhood." Then she shifted her gaze to look at Pony and Soda. "What do you boys think?"_

"_Darry is really responsible," Soda spoke up immediately. "He's always helped out our… our parents." Soda's voice faultered and Pony could tell he was trying hard not to think about them right now. "We've always been a really close family. I would much rather stay here with Darry and Pony then be shipped off to some boys' home. We're all we have left now."_

_There were a few moments of silence. "What do you think, Ponyboy?" Deborah asked._

_It was then Pony realized that everyone was looking at him, waiting for him to say something. _

"_I… I…" Pony stuttered, fidgeting. "I don't want to lose my brothers too." His voice was shaking and Soda put a comforting hand on Pony's leg. He couldn't believe that he was about to burst into tears again and this time in front of this stranger. He was supposed to be tougher than this, like his brothers. He took a deep breath and looked up. "I want Darry to have custody."_

_Deborah nodded. "Well Darry, it seems that you do have some outstanding records here," she said as she leafed through one of her files. "Excellent grades, football star, no criminal record, Boy of the Year award. Can I ask why you didn't go to college after graduting? I see here that you had a football scholarship awarded to you."_

"_Even with the scholarship we still didn't have the money," Darry explained without emotion. "I was working full time to save up some money and I was going to apply again this fall."_

_Deborah nodded. "Do you feel like you could support both of your brothers along with yourself financially?"_

"_Yes ma'am," Darry said. "I have a stable, full time job already and I can always take more hours."_

"_Well I will tell you that I don't like uprooting children unless I absolutely have to," she said. "Taking into consideration these particular circumstances, Darry, if you really would like to pursue legal custody of your brothers you will have my support."_

_It was like a weight was lifted from the room as relief washed over all three brothers. Deborah began talking about specifics with Darry, how he would need to go down to the social services office downtown to complete an interview and fill out paperwork. The process would take a few weeks to become official in which time the minors are usually put into temporary care. However Deborah said that she didn't mind waiving that detail and allowing Pony and Soda to stay at home. She was a lot more understanding than Pony had thought she'd be. _

_Pony was glad when she finally left. While she had been there it had felt like a spotlight had been on him and he had been nervous about doing or saying the wrong thing in front of the social worker. Not to mention she was undeniable proof that nothing was ever going to be the same. _

"_Well, that's something," Darry sighed as he closed the door behind Deborah. _

"_Yeah, at least me and Pony won't be shipped off," Soda agreed. _

_This was a very small victory in the wake of a horrible tragedy. Pony couldn't help but think of what he would have been doing if his parents were still here. He would be sitting in class just like any other day. His mother would pick him up from school. His father would help him with his homework. Pony felt the weight of grief weighing down on him once again, threatening to crush him. _

_Without a word he walked out of the living room and into his bedroom. He quietly closed his door and leaned back against it. Then he slid down to the floor, tears overflowing his eyes, a hole opening in his chest as sobs wracked through him one again._

_Ponyboy was thirteen years old. And all he wanted was his mommy and daddy. _


	13. The Drop Out

**Author's Note: Sorry that I haven't responded to recent reviews, I usually like to thank everyone individually but I've had a hell of a week. I appreciate each and every review, thank you all so much! We are nearing the end here, there will probably only be a few more chapters. Everything has to end somewhere! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and please review! Also, Happy Halloween! :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders. If only… ;)**

_Chapter Thirteen: The Drop Out_

It had been an incredibly long day. After sitting in school for about seven hours Soda had rushed over to work and been able to squeeze in a six and a half hour shift. Steve had worked with him for five of those hours and several times he had to nudge Soda awake after he had dozed off while working underneath a car. Steve also made him clock out right on time. He had been getting into the habit of working late the last few shifts in a row. Steve must have noticed how run down Soda was because he also insisted on driving him home.

Soda trudged into the house feeling exhausted. Between school and work he felt like he had been moving nonstop for a week straight now and there was no end in sight. He felt more run down than he ever had before and had even started to feel sick over the past few days, his stomach being upset and he was developing a mild cough.

Normally when Soda got home from work he would head right for the kitchen to get something to eat. He was always starving by the time he got home at nine or ten at night. But tonight after he kicked off his shoes and tossed his coat on the floor he headed right for the couch and threw himself down on it. He felt like he could fall asleep in a heartbeat as he closed his eyes and curled up into a ball, snuggling into the pillows on the couch.

"Ain't you gonna eat?"

Soda could hear Darry's voice from the kitchen. He knew from experience that Darry was probably sitting at the kitchen table with the bills spread out in front of him. It seemed like he crunched numbers every night these days, even though Soda couldn't imagine that they changed much from day to day. Soda didn't open his eyes but he imagined that Darry was probably leaning his chair back onto two legs to look out into the living room at him.

"Hm," Soda hummed, not real sure if he meant it as a yes or a no. Then he turned his head into the pillow and let out a dry cough to try and catch the scratch in the back of his throat.

He heard a chair scrape along the kitchen floor and Darry's heavy footsteps crossing the living room.

"Soda?" Darry said. Soda turned his head to look at Darry who was crouched in front of the couch. "You feeling okay, little buddy?"

"Tired," Soda croaked.

Darry put a cool hand on Soda's forehead. "You feel a little warm," he said, looking worried. "Maybe you should stay home tomorrow." Soda nodded, liking the idea of getting to skip school. It wasn't like he was keeping up anyway. "C'mon, I'll heat you up some soup. You should eat something."

"I'm not hungry," Soda mumbled, not wanting to get up.

"Just a little soup, c'mon," Darry said, standing up.

With an effort Soda pushed himself off the couch and followed Darry into the kitchen. He slumped into a chair as Darry pulled some left over soup out of the ice box and began heating it up on the stove.

"How was Pony's doctor's appointment?" Soda asked.

"It was fine, the doc just said he had an overactive imagination," Darry said. "Basically just told him just to read and draw more."

"Sounds easy enough," Soda said with a shrug. He covered his mouth as he let out another dry cough.

"How long you been coughing like that?" Darry asked.

"I dunno, few days?" Soda said, yawning.

Darry shot him a troubled look. "I didn't notice," he said vaguely.

"Well you've been a bit busy yourself," Soda pointed out. "It's not like you're looking that great either." It was true. Darry had bags under his eyes and he was constantly rolling his neck and shoulders in an attempt to loosen his aching muscles. Soda was really concerned that if Darry kept working like this he was really going to hurt his back. Soda looked down at all the financial papers that littered the table. "Darry… you know this isn't working, right?" he said quietly.

"What do you mean?" Darry asked, raising his eyebrows.

"We're falling behind with all these bills," he said. Darry made no comment as he stirred the soup on the stove. "Darry… I need to take more hours at work to help us make ends meet, but with school that's impossible. I need to work full time."

"Maybe I could squeeze in some more hours," Darry said vaguely.

"When?" Soda demanded. He knew that Darry was already working from sunrise to sunset seven days a week. "You gonna start roofing at night now too? You are already working yourself ragged." Soda shook his head. He coughed again. "We're both gonna get sick if this keeps up."

Darry sighed as he poured the soup in a bowl and set it in front of Soda. He sat down across the table and folded his hands in front of him and was quiet for several minutes. Soda sipped on the soup though he had no appetite. His stomach had been in an uncomfortable knot all day.

"Why don't you finish out the week," Darry finally said slowly. "I'll call up the school on Friday."

Soda nodded. "It's okay, Darry," he assured his brother. He knew he wasn't thrilled by the idea. "Honestly, I'm not even gonna pass this year anyway. I'm too far behind and I don't have time to -" He was cut off by another coughing fit.

Darry got up and got a glass from the cabinet and filled it with water. "Here, drink up," he said, rubbing Soda's back comfortingly.

Soda took a few large gulps.

"Catch up," Soda finished his thought.

"Why don't you head to bed, little buddy" Darry said gently. "Try and get some sleep."

"Yeah, okay," Soda allowed. He took his glass of water with him as he went to change for bed. Then out of habit he went into Pony's room. Even though they had figured out the cause for Pony's nightmares Soda still felt the need to protect him. Pony was sitting at his desk and seemed to be working on homework.

"Hey Soda," Pony said, glancing over at him.

"Hey, kid," Soda said as he crawled into bed, coughing again. "I'm crashing a little early tonight."

"You feeling okay?" Pony asked, turning in his chair so that he was facing the bed.

"Just a little sick," Soda said. "I'll be fine after some sleep. Darry's letting me skip school tomorrow."

"Wish he'd let me skip school when I wasn't feeling good," Pony mumbled.

Soda sighed. He remembered that Pony had been running a slight fever probably because of his own lack of sleep. "It's a little different, Pony," he tried to explain. "You're actually accomplishing something in school."

"What do you mean?" Pony asked.

Soda figured that he was going to know eventually anyway. He rolled over to look at his little brother. "This is going to be my last week of school," Soda told him. He coughed and reached for his water glass he had placed on the bedside table. "I'm dropping out so I can work full time at the gas station."

A look of shock took over Pony's face. Soda gave him several minutes as he let the idea sink in as he sipped on his water.

"Why?" Pony finally asked.

"I'm dumb, kid," Soda said. "I'm not even passing anyway. And if I can just work full time then it'll be easier for us to pay the bills."

"Did you tell Darry?" Pony asked.

"Yeah, we just talked about it," Soda said easily.

"And he's okay with that?" Pony asked a note of disbelief in his voice.

"Yeah sure," Soda said. "You coming to bed soon? You must be exhausted too."

"Yeah, I just got a little more homework to do," Pony said. He turned on his desk light before getting up and flipping the switch for the main light in the room so that it was mostly dark.

Soda coughed again. "Thanks, Pony," he croaked as he pulled the covers up over him.

"No problem," Pony said quietly, sounding distracted.

"Don't stay up too late," Soda mumbled even as he started to drift off to sleep.

Soda slept a lot more sounder than he had all week that night. And not only because Pony did as well. He felt as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders knowing that this would be his last week at school. No more trying to work thirty to forty hours a week as he showed up at school and learned nothing. He felt so strongly that this was the right decision and that everything would even out now. He knew Pony didn't understand. And he knew that Darry didn't want to understand even though he really did. But this was the right thing for him to do.


	14. It's Not Fair

**Author's Note: Okay, audience participation time. As I said I'm starting to get to get to the end of this story. I really wanted this story to read as true to the book as possible. My goals going in to this were to cover Pony's nightmares, Soda dropping out, and the growing tensions between Darry and Pony all while dealing with the general devastation of losing their parents. What I want to know is if there is something else that you would really like to see covered in this story before it ends? Please review and let me know! And even if you can't think of anything, please review anyway just to let me know that you like it! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders.**

_Chapter Fourteen: It's Not Fair_

"Hey Pony."

Pony groaned and rolled over, trying to get away from the noise. As he tried to burrow deeper into his covers he bumped into a warm body next to him and snuggled closer to it.

"Come on Pony, you gotta get up," came Darry's soft voice. He felt Darry shaking him lightly. "Let's go. Try not to wake Soda, he's sick remember?"

Pony was slowly becoming aware. It was morning and time for school. He yawned and slowly rolled back over, not wanting to be the one to wake Soda when he was sick. He blinked sleepily as he pushed himself up into a sitting position. He glanced back to see that Soda was still sound asleep. He was a bit envious that he got to sleep in today.

He finally dragged himself out of bed. He grabbed some clean clothes and stumbled to the bathroom. He felt a lot more awake after he took a long hot shower. He pulled on his clean clothes before heading for the kitchen. He stretched as he entered the kitchen, and his stomach growled as he smelled the bacon and eggs.

"Morning kiddo," Darry said.

"Morning Darry," Pony said as he sat at the kitchen table in front of his plate of hard-boiled eggs and bacon. Breakfast was unusually quiet without Soda. Pony felt troubled as he remembered what Soda had told him the night before. "Darry?" Pony finally said slowly.

"Yeah?" Darry said, looking over his newspaper at his little brother.

"Last night, Soda told me that he was gonna drop out of school," he said unsurely. Even though Soda had told him that he had already talked to Darry about it, Pony still expected a shocked reaction. Surely Darry couldn't have been okay with Soda being a high school dropout.

Darry sighed. "Yeah, he's gonna work full time at the DX," he confirmed.

"You really think that's a good idea?" Pony asked. "Shouldn't he at least finish high school?"

"It was his decision," Darry said. "That's what he wants to do."

"You can stop him though," Pony pointed out stubbornly. "You're in charge, right? You can tell him that he can't drop out of school."

"Pony, Soda is sixteen," Darry said tiredly. "He's old enough to make his own decisions about school."

Pony sighed. "Mom and dad wouldn't have let him drop out," he muttered moodily, his eyes falling down to study his breakfast.

Darry glared at Pony. "Yeah, well mom and dad ain't here," he said harshly.

Pony's eyes got big as he looked back up at Darry. "I know," he said quietly.

"What do you want me to do, Ponyboy?" Darry demanded angrily. "Force Soda to go to school everyday? In case you haven't noticed money is a little tight around here. Soda is doing this to help us stay together. If I can't feed you two on my pay alone there is no way that the state will let me remain legal guardian. I have to at least be able to keep you both alive and if you starve to death…" He let the thought hang as he picked up his empty plate and angrily pushed himself away from the table.

Pony was taken aback. Darry had never talked to him like that before. He just stared for several minutes at a loss for words.

"Well, maybe I could get a job," Pony finally said quietly. "Soda had a job at the stables at my age."

Darry sighed heavily. "No Pony, you need to focus on your schoolwork," he said a little more calmly.

"Why do I have to focus on schoolwork, but Soda doesn't?" Pony asked.

Darry just looked at him for a moment, his face unreadable as he thought over his answer. "You're going to graduate, Pony," he finally said. "Soda might not even pass this year."

"He could," Pony insisted. "We could help him and he could graduate."

"Look, I really don't want to have this conversation right now," Darry said, rubbing his temples and closing his eyes briefly. "Why don't you gather up your books. Steve should be here in a few minutes to pick you up."

Pony sighed in defeat. Obviously he had no say. He was only trying to help. He dragged himself to his feet and trudged down the hall to his room. As he quietly gathered up his books he looked at Soda's sleeping form. He looked so young in his sleep. He couldn't get over the fact that Soda was going to drop out of school. It just didn't seem to fit him. Soda wasn't just some no good hood. Even though he knew that Soda had a very good reason for dropping out, he also knew that no one outside of their group would see it that way. They would look at him the same way they looked at Tim Shepherd or Dallas Winston who were both drop outs. It just wasn't fair.

Just then he heard a honking from outside. He hurried out before Steve could honk again and wake Soda up. He didn't even bother saying goodbye to Darry who was still in the kitchen. He really didn't want to even look at Darry right now. He couldn't believe that he was so okay with Soda dropping out of school. He knew if he suggested dropping out of school Darry would have a cow.

"Soda comin'?" Steve asked as Pony slid in the backseat next to Johnny.

"No, he's not feeling real good," Pony said. "Darry's lettin' him stay home today."

"Yeah, he wasn't looking so good yesterday," Steve said as he took off. "Fell asleep three times while workin' under a car."

Pony pulled out his pack of cigarettes and tapped it on his thigh impatiently, much like he had seen Two-Bit do on several occasions. He usually had a weed before he left for school in the morning but with the argument with Darry and not having to wait for Soda who was usually running late he had run out of time. Luckily the middle school wasn't far away and he would have plenty of time before class started.

"Hey kid, you need me to pick you up again?" Two-Bit asked as they approached the middle school.

Pony raised his eyebrows, an idea dawning on him. "No, not today," he said.

"Okay," Two-Bit said with a shrug.

Pony noticed Johnny giving him a strange look, but luckily he didn't say anything. Pony was sick of feeling like a little kid. If he could walk home from school with Two-Bit he could walk home by himself.

He hid around the back of the school in order to have his morning smoke. By the time he walked into the class he was almost late.

School passed agonizingly slowly that day. Pony felt very distracted and had a hard time concentrating on what the teachers were talking about. If this kept up he knew that his grades were going to start falling. Darry wouldn't be happy about that at all.

Finally the day ended. Pony took his time packing up and felt a sense of freedom as he walked outside with the rest of his classmates. He would show Darry that he didn't need a babysitter.

"Hey Pony!"

Pony gave a start, not expecting anyone to be coming for him. He looked around and was surprised to see Soda walking over to him, grinning.

"Hey Soda," Pony said, trying to hide his surprise. "I thought you were home sick today."

"I needed to get out," Soda said with a shrug. His voice still sounded a little scratchy but he looked a lot better than he did the night before. "I was getting jumpy. I thought Two-Bit would be here by now. Guess he forgot."

"Uh, yeah he must have," Pony said, sounding guilty. "You feeling better then?" He was trying to change the subject quickly.

"Yeah, a lot better," Soda said as they started walking toward home. "I think a lot of it was just exhaustion. The past few weeks have been… very long."

Pony nodded as he pulled his pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. "Yeah, that's putting it lightly," he murmured.

They walked for a few minutes in silence as Pony lit up.

"Darry said you were kinda upset this morning," Soda finally said.

Pony looked down at his feet, feeling embarrassed. He knew that he should never have brought up mom and dad like he did, though he still felt that his point still stood.

"Yeah, Darry got kinda upset too," Pony pointed out stubbornly as he kicked at some pebbles on the sidewalk. He took a long drag on his cigarette.

"You know I wasn't gonna pass this year anyway, Pony," Soda said. "I can do a lot more good if I just work at the DX full time." He paused and cleared his throat. "Look, if I'm getting sick after just two weeks of trying to make this work, then it's not going to work out in the long run. You don't want me always gettin' sick cause I'm so run down, do you?"

"No, of course not," Pony said. He sighed. "I know that it's all so that we can stay together. I just… hate the thought of it. When I think of a drop out, I think of somebody like Tim Shepherd. You're nothin' like him."

Soda laughed lightly. "Well I'm glad you think that," he said. "I know you don't like the sound of it Pony. But we gotta do everything we can to stay together. And this is gonna help us stay together."

"I know," Pony said. "It's just… not fair."

"I know it's not," Soda said seriously, shoving his hands in his pockets. "But even if mom and dad were still here… I still don't think I would have finished, Pony. I mean I would have tried. I probably would have kept going for another year or two. But I don't think I would have ever graduated. I'm too dumb."

"You're not dumb," Pony said automatically.

Just then a slow passing car honked loudly, causing Pony to jump. "Get a haircut, Greasers!" someone yelled from the red Mustang. Socs. Soda casually flipped the car the bird as it sped away. Suddenly Pony was really glad that Soda had come for him. Groups of Socs were known for jumping Greasers when they were by themselves. Pony was also on the small side, making him an easy target for the Socs.

There were several minutes of silence before Pony spoke again. "I know mom would have wanted you to keep going…" his voice was flat. This was the most they had talked about their parents since the accident. He knew the tears were not far away, but he also knew that he had to get this out.

Soda nodded. "Yeah, she would have," he said quietly with a sad smile. "But the circumstances have changed." Pony sniffed, fighting hard against the tears that were threatening to come. Soda threw his arm over his brother's shoulders. "This is the right thing to do, Pony," he assured him.

Pony nodded. "Yeah," he admitted.

"And listen, don't give Darry a hard time about it, okay?" he said. "He's not thrilled by the idea, but he knows it's something we have to do. He's going to get enough grief from the school when he calls them up and tells them that he's pulling me out."

Pony nodded. He guessed he could understand that. "Yeah, sure," he agreed. "I didn't mean to make him so angry."

"He's just stressed," Soda said with a shrug.

"I guess," Pony said, finishing up his cigarette and tossing it on the pavement.

They turned onto their street and Pony couldn't help but look for their parents' car in the driveway. He didn't know how he was ever going to get used to them being gone for good. Everything was so different now. It had only been two weeks but it was already like him and his brothers had a completely different life. What he wouldn't give to be able to just go back to the way things were.

_It's just not fair…_


	15. Memories

**Author's Note: Please review! :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders.**

_Chapter Fifteen: Memories_

It had been four weeks since the passing of their parents and the Curtis brothers were starting to fall into a routine. Soda had officially started working full time at the DX. He had gotten his first full time paycheck and suddenly the bills seemed much more manageable. Darry was in full swing with both his jobs. Pony's grades were good in school and his nightmares were becoming less intense and less frequent. Things seemed to finally be falling into place and life was going on.

Darry came home one day to an empty house, which was not completely unusual. Soda usually worked later than he did since it was easier to work at a gas station in the dark than it was to roof houses in the dark. Plus Soda liked to work a lot of hours during the week so that he could still go out on the weekends. Pony tended to avoid the house when it was empty, Darry suspected that he still wasn't used to their parents not being home. If Johnny wasn't around to keep him company Pony usually went over to the gas station and hung out with Soda, though Soda usually sent him home before his shift was over so he could work on his homework.

Darry was in the kitchen working on dinner when he heard the front door and loud voices. He immediately heard Soda and Steve laughing.

"Hey Darry," Soda greeted as he walked into the kitchen. "What's for dinner? I'm starved."

"Baked chicken," Darry said, glancing over his shoulder at Soda and Steve. "Where's Pony?"

"He ain't here?" Soda asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"No, I figured he was with you," Darry said slowly as he turned to look at Soda.

"Nope, he didn't come by tonight," Soda said. He started back out through the living room. "You sure he ain't here?"

"Pretty sure," Darry said, a pit growing in his stomach. He didn't like not knowing exactly where Pony was. For that matter that went for Soda too. He walked back into the living room and watched Soda check the bedrooms.

"He's probably out with Johnny or somethin'," Steve said with a shrug. He was crouching in front of the TV and flipping through the channels.

"If he was he shoulda been back by now," Darry said.

"I'm sure he's fine," Soda said, walking back out into the living room. "Maybe him and Johnny went to a movie."

"He better not have on a school night," Darry said with annoyance. "Did ya'll drop Two-Bit off at the middle school to walk him home?"

"Yep," Steve said sounding bored.

"Oh, I'm sure he's around, Darry," Soda said as Darry went for the phone. "Two-Bit woulda come by the gas station if he couldn't find Pony after school."

Darry wasn't comforted as he dialed the number of the Matthews house.

"Hello?"

"Hi Ms. Matthews," Darry said into the phone. "It's Darry Curtis. Is Two-Bit there?"

"Sure, Darry, hold on," Two-Bit's mother said.

Darry waited impatiently for several minutes.

"Darry?" came Two-Bit's voice.

"Hey Two-Bit," Darry said. "I was just wondering, you picked up Pony from school today, right?"

"Yeah, of course," Two-Bit said.

"Did he go somewhere after school?" Darry asked.

"Naw, we just walked him home," Two-Bit said. "He went right inside, said he had a lot of homework."

"We?" Darry said.

"Yeah, me and Johnny," Two-Bit confirmed. "We both walked him home."

"So did Johnny leave with you then?" he asked.

"Yeah, he's over here now," Two-Bit said. "My mom invited him to stay for dinner." He paused, finally putting the meaning of the conversation together. "Did something happen?"

"Probably not," Darry said with a sigh. "Its just Pony's not here and I don't know where he is."

"Maybe he went to the gas station to see Soda," Two-Bit suggested.

"No, Soda's here and he didn't see him," Darry said, shaking his head as if Two-Bit could actually see him. "Just call if you see him."

"Sure thing, Darry," Two-Bit said.

Darry hung up and turned to Soda who was still standing in the doorway to the living room. "Johnny's over at Two-Bit's house having dinner," he said. "He said that they dropped Pony off here right after school and left."

"Maybe he went to the movies by himself," Steve suggested as he lounged on the couch.

"He better not have," Darry said. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed his keys off the counter. "I'm gonna go look for him," he said, walking back through the living room.

"Hang on," Soda said. Darry turned to see that his brother was staring curiously down the hallway that led to the bedrooms. "Maybe…" He let the thought trail off. He slowly started walking down the hallway as if in a trance.

"What?" Darry prompted impatiently. They had already checked the bedrooms.

Darry walked forward to look down the hallway. He was surprised to find that Soda was standing in front of the closed door that led to their parents' bedroom. Over the past couple weeks it was as if that door had faded into the house, seemingly forgotten by its occupants. Soda glanced back at Darry, looking unsure. Of course neither of them had checked that particular room.

"Do you think…?" Soda once again didn't finish his thought, apparently shook up by the very idea of entering the room.

Darry couldn't imagine that Pony would want to go in there considering how much he had been affected by the deaths of their parents. It had only been four weeks. Darry hadn't even considered going into that room himself. And if even if Pony had gone in there, why would he still be in there? Surely he'd be able to hear his brothers and would have come out by now. But Darry realized that logically he had to check the entire house before he went crazy driving all around town looking for his kid brother.

He knew Soda wouldn't, so he stepped up behind his brother and reached forward to grasp the doorknob. He took a deep breath before he slowly turned the knob and pushed open the door.

_Three Hours Earlier_

Pony entered the empty house after school. It was the first time he had been alone in the house since his parents had been killed. If neither of his brothers were home before this day he always found some reason to be out of the house. It wasn't that he had never been home alone before. The emptiness was just so much more palpable these days.

He hated that he felt like he was the only one still struggling so much with this. Sure he knew that Soda missed them too, they had spoken about it briefly at night when Pony had been woken by his nightmares. But Darry and Soda had fallen into their routines and Pony just still felt so out of place with everything he did. Nothing felt normal anymore. It was like everyone was trying to pretend that his parents had never existed because no one could even talk about them anymore.

Pony sat in his room, trying to avoid the void that filled of the rest of the house. He sat at his desk and stared at his homework. If he could get his homework done before Darry got home his brother would have nothing to bug him about. But he just couldn't focus. It was like the entire house was closing in on him and the silence was ringing in his ears.

Finally he got up and walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water. As he went to go back to his room and stopped short in the hallway, staring at the one door in the house that had not been touched in four weeks. Their parents' bedroom stood at the end of the hallway just as it always had. It was comforting in a way. There was proof that their parents had at one time actually existed as living breathing human beings in their lives.

Pony wasn't sure when exactly he decided that he was going to go into that room. Suddenly he was twisting the doorknob and listening to the slight creak of the hinges as the door swung open. The room seemed oddly cooler than the rest of the house as Pony stepped over the threshold. He took a deep breath, inhaling the familiar smells. His mother's perfume, his father's cologne. He quietly closed the door behind him, hoping to contain what was left of his parents so the rest of the empty house wouldn't swallow it.

Pony slowly walked through the room. In this space it was as if nothing had changed. He slowly walked around, taking everything in. Framed pictures of his mom and dad getting married. Dad's work clothes strewed on the floor in front of the closet. His mom's jewelry box with the lid not properly closed. It was like no time at all had passed in this room. It was comforting.

Pony smiled as he tenderly picked up a picture from the bedside table. It was a picture he had seen many times. A family photograph. Pony couldn't have been more than five or six at the time. His mother held him balanced on her right hip. Pony had been shy, huddling into his mother's shoulder but peaking out from under her long hair that he knew to be blonde just like Soda's even in the black and white picture. His mother wore a contented smile that reached up to her dancing eyes. Next to her stood Soda, probably around seven years old. He held their mother's free hand and was making a funny face with eye squinting and his tongue sticking out. He never did like to take serious pictures. With his other hand he held their father's hand. Their father wore a wild grin and laughing eyes, his dark hair cut short like it always was, something Darry had always mimicked. Darry stood in front of their father; he must have been around twelve. Their father's free hand was resting on Darry's shoulder while Darry smiled earnestly at the camera.

Pony sat down on the bed, still staring down at the picture. The bed was still made, something his mother had done the last morning she had been alive. His free hand absently moved over the comforter. When he had been little he had be known to have wild dreams at night. Some would scare him and he would run down the hall to his parents' room and climb into bed with them. When his mysterious nightmares had started a few weeks ago all he wanted to do was run to his parents and be comforted. He loved his brothers and was grateful that they were so concerned about him, but nothing could take the place of the comfort of a loving mother and father.

Pony felt his eyes well up with tears as the smile slipped from his face. What he wouldn't give to just have them back.

As the tears started to fall more rapidly Pony lay down on the bed, trying to feel as close to his parents as he could as he buried his face in the comforter, inhaling deeply. He gingerly lay the picture down next to him on the bed before wrapping his arms around himself in an attempt to keep the hole in his chest from opening up once more. He rolled over onto his side as he slowly drew his knees up to his chest, trying to become as small as possible. He could almost hear his mother's soothing voice trying to comfort him.

After several minutes the tears slowed and a mental exhaustion from all of the overwhelming emotions finally caught up with him as Pony simply drifted off to a dreamless sleep.

_Hours Later…_

Darry pushed open the door to their parents' bedroom. He immediately spotted his little brother curled up in a little ball; sound asleep on their parents' bed. He felt immense relief to realize that Pony wasn't in any danger at all, like he had thought. He had been in the house this entire time. But at the same time he couldn't imagine why he was asleep in their parents' bed.

"See, he's fine," Soda said quietly.

"Why would he want to be in here though?" Darry wondered.

Soda just shrugged as he walked forward, looking intently at his younger brother, his eyes not wandering to anything else in the room. Darry could tell that this was painful for him. Reality always hit Soda hard, almost as hard as it did Pony. Which made Pony being in this room all that much more odd.

Soda crouched down by the bed as Darry watched from the doorway, his hands shoved in his pockets.

"Pony?" Soda said quietly, shaking Pony gently. "Hey Pony. C'mon, it's time for dinner."

Pony moaned softly as he shifted and his eyes slowly blinked open. Darry took a step forward to get a good look at him. His eyes were red. He had been crying. He must have cried himself to sleep.

"Soda?" Pony mumbled, confused. He started to look around, realizing where he was. "Where's mom and dad?"

Darry's breath caught in his chest and Soda froze, his eyes wide. Both were silent.

Pony blinked a few more times then slowly sat up. "Oh," he said flatly, clearly starting to become more fully awake and aware of reality. "Sorry."

"It's okay, Pony," Soda said gently. He stood up and helped Pony up, leading him out of the room. "Let's get something to eat."

Darry listened to his brothers walk down the hallway, hearing Steve's voice as they entered the living room. He studied the bed, noticing a photograph lying right next to where Pony had been sleeping. He walked forward and picked it up, recognizing an old family photo. He carefully placed it on the bedside table where he knew that it always sat. Without looking around he turned and walked out of the room, quietly closing the door behind him.

He just couldn't afford to let his emotions overwhelm him. It was still just too painful to think even about what had happened. All he could do was keep moving forward so that he could take care of his little brothers. He would be strong for them. He had to.


	16. Gifted

**Author's Note: Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed! Since this particular event was requested by several different reviewers I decided to throw it in. Hope you like it! Please review!**

_Chapter Sixteen: Gifted_

As Darry climbed out of the truck he felt like he could drop dead from exhaustion. It had been a particularly long day and he had worked through his lunch break so that he could squeeze in an extra hour. They were still trying to catch up on bills – they had fallen behind a bit in the few weeks after their parents had passed before Soda had started working full time – but things were slowly getting better. Darry knew that if that could just get a little ahead financially that he would be able to cut back a little.

He dragged himself into the house and saw that Pony and Johnny were both lounging on the couch, watching TV. He nodded a greeting at the two of them, feeling too tired to string any words together. All he wanted to do was collapse in his recliner but he knew that he had to get going on dinner. However as he walked into the kitchen he was surprised to see a few pots already on the stove.

"We started on dinner for you," Pony said, coming up behind Darry. "Spaghetti and meatballs. I hope that's okay."

Darry gave his kid brother a weak smile. "Sounds great to me," he said, relieved that dinner was one less thing he had to worry about tonight.

"I made as much as could fit in the pots," Pony said. "We ran into Dally on the way home from school and he said he'd probably be by tonight."

Darry nodded. They hadn't seen much of Dally in the past couple weeks. Grieving wasn't something he really knew how to deal with. He had been there to support the Curtis brothers right after the accident up through the funeral, mostly just offering up his presence as a form of support since comforting people wasn't really his thing. After that he had become rather scarce and Darry didn't even want to think about how he had been blowing off steam.

With Dally likely to turn up, it was going to be a big group for dinner. Darry would insist that Johnny stick around and Steve was likely to follow Soda home. Darry was actually glad for this news. He liked it when the whole gang gathered together; it made the house seem a lot less empty and the world seem a little more normal.

Just then the phone rang and Pony disappeared to go answer it. Darry moved to the sink and began to wash his hands so that he could help Pony finish up dinner.

"Darry?" He glanced over his shoulder to see Pony standing in the doorway to the kitchen, looking unsure. "It's for you." Darry just stared for a moment, not understanding. "The phone."

"Oh," Darry said, shutting off the water and flicking water off his hands. He had already forgotten the phone had been ringing. He was just so tired that his mind was a little sluggish. "Who is it?"

"Um…" Pony hesitated and Darry turned to his brother, grabbing a nearby rag and drying his hands off. "It's my school."

Darry sighed tiredly. "Anything you wanna tell me before I talk to your school?" Darry asked. He had made sure that Pony hadn't shown up to school with any more injuries, and if it were an issue of suspected abuse he would imagine he would hear from the social worker rather than the school. The day Pony had come home and told him that one of his teachers had thought he had hit him had shaken Darry down to his very core. The only other reason Darry could think of for getting a call from the school would be if Pony had gotten in trouble.

"Honestly, Darry, I got no idea what they want," Pony said worriedly, shifting uncomfortably.

"Alright," Darry said. He trudged into the living room and fell into his recliner. He reached over and grabbed the receiver that Pony had left off the hook on the end table. "Hello?"

"Darrel Curtis?"

"Yes," Darry confirmed. He followed Pony with his eyes as his brother nervously sat back on the couch next to Johnny. He was watching Darry carefully, waiting for a hint as to what his school wanted.

"This is Roger Medina, I am the principal at Ponyboy's school," came a very professional voice.

"Yes, I know," Darry said. Mr. Medina had been principal while Darry had been at that school as well.

"As I understand it, you are now Ponyboy's legal guardian?"

"That's right," Darry said, sounding a little impatient. He just wanted to get this over with. After working for fourteen hours straight one of the last things he wanted to do was hear that his kid brother was causing trouble at school.

"I'm sorry to be calling so late," he said, still dragging this thing out. "However this is one of the better calls I had to make tonight, so I decided to go ahead with it." He paused and Darry simply waited for him to continue. "I have been going through Ponyboy's records today. One of his teachers pointed out to me that he seemed to be doing exceptionally well in his classes, even despite the unfortunate circumstances over the past couple weeks."

_Unfortunate circumstances_, that was certainly putting it lightly. "Well, I'm glad to hear that," Darry said, sounding vaguely surprised. He noticed Pony sat up at little taller at this comment.

"And I am glad to deliver the news," Mr. Medina said. "Ponyboy is a very gifted student. In fact, I don't think he is being challenged enough by his courses. His English teacher in particular mentioned that he has been giving Ponyboy extra reading to do just to keep him occupied."

Darry raised his eyebrows in surprise. He had no idea about that. "Really?" he said.

"Indeed," Mr. Medina confirmed. "After looking over his test scores I come to the reason for this call. I believe that if Ponyboy continues on his current path he could become bored and apathetic about his studies. He needs to be challenged more in order to stay interested. For that reason I am recommending that Ponyboy skip eighth grade and start ninth grade at the high school in the fall."

Darry was taken aback. This was not the direction he thought this conversation was going to go. He was at a loss for several long seconds and he saw Pony's face screw up with confusion, unsure what to make of his reaction.

"Oh," Darry finally said lamely.

"Now you certainly don't have to make a decision right now," Mr. Medina went on. "I'm sure you will want to talk it over with Ponyboy. Just go ahead and give my office a call once you have made your decision, no matter what your decision may be."

"Yes, sir, I will," Darry said. "Thank you."

"You are welcome," Mr. Medina said. "Like I said, this was one of the better phone calls that I had to make tonight. Have a good evening, Darrel."

"Thanks, you too," Darry said. He hung up the phone and focused on Pony, who was looking unsure about whether he was in trouble or not. "Well Pony," Darry started seriously. "It seems that you _did_ have something to tell me."

"What do you mean?" Pony asked.

"Should I go…?" Johnny asked unsurely, looking uncomfortable.

"No, that's okay, Johnny," Darry assured him. He looked back at Pony. "You didn't tell me that your English teacher was giving you extra work."

Pony looked surprised. "Oh," he said. "It's not a big deal. I read a little faster than the rest of the class I guess."

"He also said that you've got some great test scores in all your classes," Darry said.

"Uh, yeah I guess," Pony said. "So I'm not in trouble?"

"Actually, the opposite," Darry said. He finally cracked one of his rare smiled. "Your principal is recommending that you skip eighth grade and start high school in the fall."

Pony stared in disbelief. "Are you serious?" he asked.

Darry nodded. "Very serious," he said.

"Congrats, Pony," Johnny said with a smile.

Pony's face lit up as the fact sunk in. "Wow!" he said. "So I'm going to high school next year?"

"That's up to you," Darry said. "If you _want_ to stay in middle school…"

"No," Pony said immediately. "No, I'd much rather be in high school with the rest of the gang."

"Well I would hope you'd be going to school for another reason rather than just to hang out with the gang," Darry said slowly, a note of disapproval in his voice. "You're gonna have to work real hard on your schoolwork so you don't fall behind with skipping a grade and everything."

Pony's face fell just slightly. "Yeah, I know Darry, I'll be fine," he assured him sounding a bit annoyed.

Before anyone could say anything else there was a commotion outside. Darry stood and hurried to finish up dinner, knowing that Soda and Steve were probably done with work. Darry made himself a plate and headed back into the living room, seeing that not only did Soda and Steve show up, but Dally and Two-Bit had too.

"Help yourselves," Darry said, jerking his head back to the kitchen where the food was.

"You mean you ain't gonna serve us?" Two-Bit asked. "That is certainly gonna be reflected in your tip and I'd like to speak with your manager."

Darry rolled his eyes and shook his head. Everyone crowded into the small kitchen and there was sounds of chaos as everyone tried making their own plates at once. After a minute Darry heard the sound of a plate shattering on the floor.

"Two-Bit did it!" Steve called out to Darry.

After a few minutes everyone had their food and had gathered back in the living room, talking loudly and making a mess. Darry made a mental note that spaghetti sauce wasn't the best idea when the whole gang was coming over for dinner.

"Pony got some news today," Johnny spoke up with a grin.

Pony's cheeks redden as everyone quieted down and focused on him. Darry smiled to himself. It was a huge accomplishment and he was really proud of his brother, especially after everything they had been through the past few weeks it would have been easy for him to let his grades slip.

"My principal called Darry up tonight," Pony said, grinning in spite of himself. "He's recommending that I skip eighth grade and start high school in the fall."

"Wow Pony!" Soda exclaimed, grinning and thumping Pony on the back. "That's amazing!"

"Guess we got ourselves an Einstein," Dally said, lighting up a weed.

"Hey, I thought I was the Einstein of the group," Two-Bit retorted, trying to sound offended.

"You might have been if you had bothered to graduate two years ago when you were supposed to," Steve said, elbowing Two-Bit.

"Or if you at least made it to senior year," Soda agreed, laughing.

"I like junior year," Two-Bit said defensively. "I know where all my classes are."

"I'll bet," Soda laughed. He raised his glass of chocolate milk up in the air. "To Pony!" he declared haughtily.

"Cheers!" Two-Bit said, clinking his beer bottle up against Soda glass and causing the milk to spill out into Soda's lap.

Darry smirked at the scene, watching Soda fight with Two-Bit and Pony wildly grinning as Johnny congratulated him again. It had been a long time since he had seen both his brothers so honestly happy.


	17. Do What You Can With What You've Got

**Author's Note: Well, this is it, the last chapter! I actually feel kind of guilty ending this story because I've gotten so many wonderful reviews, but it has to end somewhere and I think I've taken it as far as it can go for now. I may attempt a sequel in the future that will cover the summer right after this story and go right up to where the book starts, but that won't be for a while (but if you would be interested in reading something like that, please let me know). I've got another multi-chapter Outsiders fic that I've been working on that I will be posting, and I don't want to have too many stories going on at once (I'm thinking three is my limit, I've gotten into a pretty good rhythm, haha). **

**So if you like my writing, please keep an eye out for my new story which I will probably be posting this weekend. It's going to be a post-Outsiders book story with a lot of dramatic action (I know that's vague, I don't want to give too much away yet ;) ). I've been working very hard on it, so I hope some of you will check it out. I think you'll especially like it if you like my other story, **_**The Ties that Bind**_**, it's got a lot of similar themes.**

**So thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story! You are all wonderful and make me happy. Also special shout out to Arsosah and greasergirl003 who have been reviewing this story since the beginning, you both are awesome. :) **

**And now, without further ado, I will stop rambling and let you get to the story. Please review!**

_Chapter Seventeen_

_Do What You Can With What You've Got_

Pony walked along the side of the road, his hands shoved in his pockets and his shoulders hunched. It had taken a lot of arguing, but he had finally managed to ditch Two-Bit after school. He knew Two-Bit was probably going to run off and tell his brothers, but he didn't care. He didn't want Two-Bit of all people to be tagging along to where he was going, even if it meant getting a lecture from Darry later.

Pony had another nightmare the night before. They weren't recurring as often as they did a few weeks ago, Pony had gotten into the habit of keeping himself real busy during the day which made him too tired to dream much most nights. But on the rare occasion when he did have a nightmare they still scared the heck out of him. Soda was so exhausted from working so much that he hadn't woken up the night before, but as far as Pony could tell he had screamed like he used to. Pony was glad that Soda had simply continued sleeping in his bed with him even as the nightmares became rarer. Even when he was asleep, his presence was comforting.

There was still a different form of comfort that Pony craved though.

The cemetery was a long walk from the middle school. He could have taken the bus, but it was a nice day out and Pony figured he might as well save his pennies with how tight money had been lately. He could use his change to go see a movie with Johnny this weekend.

As Pony passed through the gates of the cemetery he felt goose bumps run down his arms and back. He shivered even though it was a warm day. He hadn't been back here since the day they had buried their parents. He froze for a moment, contemplating turning around and walking back out and heading home instead. Maybe he wasn't ready for this. Maybe he needed more time. Maybe he wasn't strong enough to even look at his parents' headstones.

After a moment he took a deep breath, shaking his head as if he could shake away all his doubts. He had already come this far, it would be really pathetic if he turned back now. He knew that he had to do this. Just like the day he had gone into their parents' bedroom, he needed proof that his parents had once existed in their lives. He needed comfort.

It took him almost ten minutes to find the headstones that he was looking for. The day of the funeral was a bit of a blur in his memory and he couldn't remember much of the surrounding area. All he really remembered was clutching to Soda, both of them bawling like babies as they watched their parents being buried six feet into the earth. As he finally approached the plots he felt a sense of familiarity though, like he had been there many times before and not just the one time that was hazed over in his memory.

He stood there for several minutes, staring down at the grass that was starting to grow up through the dirt covering the plots rather than at the names and dates carved in the stones in front of him. He tried not to think too much about his parents lying in coffins six feet under where he stood. He tired not to think about how he would never see them again. It was all too fresh to think of them as really gone forever. Slowly he lowered himself to sit in the grass just below the plots, not wanting to sit on top of them, carefully keeping his eyes down. He did his best to pretend that his parents were sitting in front of him rather than below him, like they had done so many times before when they had driven out to the country and had picnics.

Pony sat quietly for a long time, absentmindedly fiddling with the grass in front of him. He wasn't exactly sure what he should do. He knew that he wanted to talk to his mom and dad, but he had no idea what he wanted to say. Talking about school or movies or books just seemed too mundane. He felt like he should say something profound, but he couldn't come up with anything.

"I just…" Pony mumbled, staring down at the ground very intently, fighting hard against the tears that were threatening to overflow. He was so sick of crying. "I just really miss you guys. I wish you were here right now." He knew that it sounded lame, but that was all he could think of to say.

"We all miss you guys."

Pony almost jumped out of his skin, convinced for half a second that he had just heard his father's voice. He whipped around to see Soda coming up behind him, still dressed in his DX uniform, his hands shoved in his pockets just like Pony's had been on the walk over and an uncharacteristically somber look on his face.

"Sorry, Pony," Soda said softly as he carefully sat down beside him, crossing his legs underneath him. "Didn't mean to scare you."

"Why aren't you at work?" Pony asked, surprised. It seemed like all both of his brothers ever did anymore was work.

Soda shrugged. "Work can survive a night without me."

"What about the bills?" Pony asked.

"They'll get paid," Soda said easily.

Pony looked at him skeptically. It was a little strange to see him so nonchalant about paying off the bills after it had been clear that he and Darry had been really worried about them for weeks now.

"Did Two-Bit tell you where I was going?" Pony asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah, he stopped by," Soda admitted.

"You know, I don't need a babysitter," Pony said moodily, looking back down at the ground in front of him. He pulled his knees up in front of him and put his elbows on top of them, crossing his arms over himself protectively.

"I'm not here to babysit you," Soda said, shooting him a sympathetic glance. "I just thought I'd keep you company. I feel like we haven't gotten to spend much time together the past few weeks with how much I've been working. Plus…" He paused and then continued softly. "I miss them too you know."

Pony sighed "Yeah, I know," he said quietly, feeling guilty for not realizing Soda's intentions. He wasn't like Darry after all. "It's just sometimes it's hard to remember that they actually existed. I can't understand how life can just go on without them."

Soda looked over at Pony sadly. "Of course they existed, Ponyboy," he said gently. "We have too many good memories with them for them to have never existed." He reached over and put a comforting arm around Pony's shoulders. "It's never going to be okay that this happened. It'll never be okay that you lost both your parents when you were only thirteen years old. But that doesn't mean that someday it won't hurt as much."

"I can't imagine this ever not hurting," Pony said softly, leaning in to Soda for comfort. The empty hole in his chest was threatening to open up again and Pony hunched over himself in an attempt to keep himself whole.

"I know kid," Soda said quietly. He squeezed Pony in closer to him and rested his cheek on top of Pony's head. "But mom and dad wouldn't want us to just stop living our lives because of them. They always worked so hard to make us happy, you know? Now it's our turn to work."

Pony just nodded, not trusting himself to say anything for fear of breaking down and bawling yet again. He felt like he had done that way too much in the past couple weeks. He was so glad to have Soda, and he was glad his brother had come and found him today. Over the past few weeks Pony would have been a complete wreck if he hadn't had Soda to rely on. Soda really understood him and was always looking out for him. He didn't know what he would do without him.

Suddenly Pony had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Life was so fragile. Both of his parents were here one minute and then gone the next. Any day could be a person's last day on Earth and no one would have any idea until it was too late. Pony held onto Soda tighter. How would he be able to survive if he lost anyone else that he loved so much? Especially the last person that he had to rely on. He had a very morbid realization that a long life wasn't guaranteed to anyone.

"Please don't leave me," Pony whispered. He wasn't quite sure if he was really saying it to Soda or if he was just hoping some higher being would hear him and protect his big brother until they were all old and grey.

Soda made no comment if he had even heard him at all. They sat in silence for a long time, each left to their own thoughts. Finally Pony noticed that the shadows were growing longer as the sun began to disappear behind the surrounding trees. It must be getting late. He wondered vaguely if Darry was home yet and wondering where they were.

Soda must have realized how late it was getting too. "You about ready to head back?" he asked. "I'm starved."

Pony nodded. "You didn't walk here, did you?" he asked as the two of them stood up. He figured it would have taken Soda a lot longer to walk over here from the gas station.

"No, Two-Bit dropped me off," Soda said. "We should probably take the bus back."

They walked together back toward the front of the cemetery. As they approached the gates Pony noticed a very familiar truck parked just on the other side of the street. He squinted curiously in the fading light, thinking maybe his eyes were playing tricks on him.

"Darry?" Soda said.

Sure enough, Darry was leaning against the door of the truck, watching them carefully.

"Anyone need a ride?" Darry said with a light smile.

"What are you doing here?" Pony asked as the two of them crossed the street.

"I got out a little early and ran into Two-Bit at the house," Darry explained. "Figured maybe you two might like a ride home."

"Glory, is there anyone he didn't blab to?" Pony muttered. He looked at Darry a little unsurely, unable to figure out whether he was in trouble or not for walking over here by himself.

"You coulda come in and sat with us," Soda pointed out, jerking his head back toward where they had come from.

Darry's light smile turned into a frown as his icy eyes looked passed them to the cemetery beyond. "That's okay," he said stiffly. "I haven't been here long."

Pony studied his oldest brother for a minute. There was something strange about his expression. For just a moment he looked… lost. Unsure. Uncomfortable. Then the moment passed and Pony had to question whether or not he had just imagined seeing anything at all in Darry's hard features.

"Maybe some other time," Soda said with a shrug as he walked around the truck to the passenger's side.

However, as the brothers piled into the truck, deep down they all knew that they would not be back in this cemetery for a very long time. In fact it would be years before the three of them would stand beside their parents' graves, coming together one last time as a family on the eve of a day where the Curtis brothers would be tested once again. But until then, it would be just too painful to look back at the past. They didn't have the luxury of an abundance of time to grieve their parents' deaths. They were Greasers. They had to spend all their time and energy working in order to stay together. They couldn't let themselves be dragged down by the past or else everything could fall apart in the blink of an eye. They had to do what they could with what they had. But what they had were brothers. And they had the gang. And that would be enough to keep them moving forward.

_**THE END**_

**Final Author's Note:**** Well that's it! I hope you enjoyed this story, because I certainly enjoyed writing it. I am actually quite proud of the foreshadowing in this chapter, so I do want to point out that when Pony says "Please don't leave me," it's a hint at Soda's impending death in Vietnam in about three years (which is S.E. Hinton's doing not, mine! If I had it my way Soda would live forever!). Also in that last paragraph where it says it would be years before they return to the cemetery, in my mind they will not return until the day before Soda is deployed after being drafted, which will be the last time they are all together before they have to bury Soda (*cries*). I just love the angst in that imagery and may write a one-shot with that scene sometime. **


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